Motherhood after IVF

February brings many joys for children and their families: days slowly starting to get longer, winter walks with hot chocolates in hand, and settling back into a normal routine after the winter holiday hustle and bustle. Many children enjoy being back at school with their friends, excited for the opportunities that come along with the start of the New Year and a new term. But in addition to these seasonal joys, February also brings a less welcome visitor: the flu.

Flu season most often occurs in winter and typically peaks between January and March each year, leaving sick children and families in its wake.¹ It’s estimated that 1 in 10 children could catch the flu this season, putting many others at risk.² Flu is infectious and spreads easily to others from coughs and sneezes, with flu germs living on hands and surfaces for 24 hours.³ The virus spreads quickly amongst children. Not only do children stay infectious longer than adults, but a survey also revealed two-thirds of children don’t wash their hands, 48% don’t cover their mouths to sneeze or cough and a further 55% pick their nose.^4,5 When kids are being kids, it’s no wonder the virus can make its way around.

Often more than “just a bad cold,” the flu can be miserable for children and young people. Although sharing similar symptoms, the flu is often worse than the common cold, and symptoms often tend to be more severe and appear quickly, often starting within a few hours after coming in contact with the virus.³ Flu can cause a fever, aching muscles, extreme tiredness, a stuffy nose, sore throat and dry cough.^6,7 Some may also experience headaches, trouble sleeping, loss of appetite, diarrhoea or tummy pain, and nausea.³ Beyond feeling ill, the flu can lead to complications, such as a middle ear infection, respiratory complications such as bronchitis and pneumonia, and even hospitalisation, particularly for children under five years of age. ^7,8 Flu can affect children’s back to school plans, as it can take up to around 7 days to recover from the illness; this means children may not only miss out on time spent with their friends but are absent from valuable learning time in class. ⁹ The flu presents difficulties for families as well, with parents often having to take time off work and the risk of other family members catching the virus as well.¹⁰

The child flu vaccine can help children fight off the illness, as it helps to build up a child’s immunity to the virus, reducing their chances of catching the flu. ⁷ This means that if your child comes into contact with these flu viruses after receiving their flu vaccine, their immune system will be more prepared to fight off the infection.^7,11

The child flu vaccine can make the flu virus less transmissible, which can help reduce the spread of flu; this can help protect those in your family who may be at greater risk from flu, such as grandparents, or those with long-term health conditions.^7,11 You can learn more about the child flu vaccination programme by contacting your healthcare team or by visiting sharegoodtimesnotflu.co.uk, an AstraZeneca disease awareness website.

This winter, those eligible for a free child flu vaccine are all 2 and 3 year olds, all primary school children, and secondary school-age children up to years 9 and years 10 and 11 if available in England, and up to years 11 in Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland – full details can be found here (an AstraZeneca disease awareness website).^12-16This extends to those from 6 months to 17 years old with certain health conditions. For full eligibility criteria, check with your healthcare team.

Eligible children from two years old can receive a free nasal flu vaccine, given as a single spray in each nostril. ⁷ This is a quick and needle-free vaccination that can help protect your child against flu.¹⁷ If the nasal spray is not suitable for your child, an alternative injectable flu vaccine may be offered. ⁷

These vaccines are administered in schools by immunisation teams, in locally run community clinics, and in GP practices.

Some parents may be concerned about the use of porcine gelatine in the production of the nasal flu vaccine. The gelatine used is highly purified and broken down so it is different from the gelatine in food; as a result, no animal DNA is detectable in the final product.^7,18 Some faith communities accept the use of porcine gelatine medical products – however the decision to vaccinate your child with the nasal flu vaccine is still your choice.¹⁸

If your child gets any side effects after receiving the vaccination, talk to your doctor, pharmacist or nurse. You can report side effects directly via the Yellow Card Scheme at yellowcard.mhra.gov.uk. By reporting side effects, you can help provide more information on the safety of medicines.

To learn more about childhood flu vaccination, speak to your GP or healthcare team, or visit sharegoodtimesnotflu.co.uk (an AstraZeneca disease awareness website) to learn about flu, child flu vaccination, side effects, find answers to frequently asked questions and more.

GB-41152 February 2023

References:

GOV.UK. Seasonal Influenza: Guidance, Data and Analysis. 17 November 2021. Last Accessed January 2023. Available at: https://www.gov.uk/government/collections/seasonal-influenza-guidance-data-and-analysis
Global influenza strategy 2019-2030. Geneva: World Health Organization; 2019.
NHS website. Flu. September 2019. Last Accessed January 2023 Available at: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/flu/
Usonis V et al. BMC Infect Dis. 2010;10:168.
AstraZeneca UK Ltd. Data on File. ID: REF-65291. October 2019.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Seasonal Influenza, Symptoms & Diagnosis, Cold Versus Flu. July 2021. Last Accessed January 2023 Available at: https://www.cdc.gov/flu/symptoms/coldflu.html
Public Health England: Protecting your child against flu. Flu immunisation in England. May 2022. Last Accessed January 2023 Available at: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1087835/UKHSA-12388-protecting-your-child-against-flu-2022-2023.pdf
Cromer D et al. J. Infect. 2014;68(4):363-371.
Willacy H. Influenza and Flu-like illness. September 2022. Last Accessed January 2023 Available at: http://patient.info/health/influenza-and-flu-like-illness
Ambrose CS, Antonova EN. Eur J Clin Microbiol Infect Dis.2014;33(4):569-575 doi: 10.1007/s10096-013-1986-6.
Mameli C, et al. Front. Pediatr. 2019;7:317 doi: https://doi.org/10.3389/fped.2019.00317
NI Direct government services: Last Accessed January 2023. https://www.nidirect.gov.uk/articles/flu-vaccine#toc-1
GOV.UK. Statements of amendments to annual flu letter-21 July 2022. Last Accessed January 2023. https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/national-flu-immunisation-programme-plan/statement-of-amendments-to-annual-flu-letter-21-july-2022
Waite, Ramsey & Russell. The NHS influenza immunisation programme 2022 to 2023 letter. Last Accessed January 2023. https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/1081646/Tripartite_annual_flu_letter_2022_to_2023_V2.pdf
Atherton, The Welsh Health Circular, Reimbursable vaccines and eligible cohorts for the 2022/23 NHS Seasonal Influenza (flu) vaccination programme. Last Accessed January 2023. https://gov.wales/sites/default/files/publications/2022-03/reimbursable-vaccines-and-eligible-cohorts-for-the-202223-nhs-seasonal-influenza-flu-vaccination-programme.pdf
CMO letter 2022/23. Last Accessed January 2023. https://www.sehd.scot.nhs.uk/cmo/CMO(2021)14.pdf
NHS Website. Child flu vaccine. Last Accessed January 2023. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaccinations/child-flu-vaccine/
Public Health England. NHS. Vaccines and porcine gelatine. August 2019. Last Accessed January 2023. Available at: https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/933552/Vaccines_porcine_gelatine_2020_A4.pdf

Life of a Mum

Reducing the stress of parenting

19th January 2023 motherhoodafterivf

Is it me, or is January the most stressful of months.
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Parenting can be a difficult and stressful job. Here are some tips to help reduce your stress and make the parenting journey a bit easier:
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Make Time for Yourself: Take some time away from parenting duties to do something that brings you joy and relaxes you. Whether it’s reading, watching a movie, going for a walk, or anything else, it’s important to make time for yourself and your own well-being.
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Ask for Help: Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Whether it’s from family and friends, or professional help such as therapy, it’s okay to ask for help when parenting becomes stressful.
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Practicing Mindfulness: Mindfulness can help you stay in the moment and be more aware of what’s going on around you, which can help reduce stress. Try taking a few moments each day to practice mindfulness and be present with your thoughts and feelings. For me journaling is good for this.
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Connect with Other Parents: Connecting with other parents can help to reduce stress and provide support. Look for support groups, online forums, and other resources to connect with other parents. (Join us at our @le16.ladies events)
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Take Care of Your Health: Taking care of your physical and mental health can help reduce stress and make parenting easier. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat healthy, exercise regularly, and reduce alcohol
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What other tips would you give???

Life of a Mum

Breast Cancer Awareness- My Story

25th October 202225th October 2022 motherhoodafterivf

I feel I was always quite aware of Breast Cancer growing up; it had good campaigns and the pink month was becoming a thing. this became even more true when my Aunt was diagnosed and subsequently died when I was a teenager. I was aware of mammograms, but definitely thought it was a thing that concerned ‘older’ ladies.

I started Uni in September 2000, at around the same time my mum was called for her first mammogram. Weeks later I’ll never forget that phone call, mum telling me she’d just been given the news that she had breast cancer, my initial reaction was that of a typical fresher, and I downed a couple of shots (between lectures) to numb the emotion.

The first few months at Uni, studying nursing felt very odd- as I was often torn with where I should be doing my ‘nursing’. Returning home to see mum following her lumpectomy surgery, and following on from that accompanying her for nearly all of her radiotherapy treatments. As a nursing student, the radiotherapy sessions were incredibly interesting and the team allowed me to observe at each session- although it was heart wrenching to see mum go through such an ordeal. The radiotherapy ’tattoos’ were her first- but I’m proud to say I’ve encouraged her to get more (breast cancer related too)

The blurriest of pics- but this was us celebrating my mums ‘10 year all clear’

Mum, I guess was ‘lucky’- her cancer hadn’t spread, and following her radiotherapy course her only other treatment was oral medications, and the lasting effects were some lymphoedema (where fluid builds up in her arm due to lymph node removal) and mildly wonky boobs due to the lumpectomy.

As my Aunt was on my paternal side- no family or hereditary links were even thought of. That was until in the subsequent years two maternal cousins, one paternal cousin and my Nan were also diagnosed with breast cancer. A maternal aunt also was diagnosed and died from Ovarian cancer.

It was worrying for all the ladies in my family; as well as supporting our family members through diagnosis, and in two cases unfortunately death due to cancer; we had to acknowledge the risks to each of us.

During my twenties I had two breast lumps which required investigation. I guess, although these lumps or thickenings were 100% present, much of my concern was due to paranoia. I correctly and worriedly had the required tests, and was given the news that they were likely hormonal cysts.

Following the second ‘scare’ one of the breast care nurses picked up on the increasing family history, and kindly referred me for genetic screening and counselling at Oxford. This involved a very thorough history and examination of myself, and also thorough histories of both my mum and Nan and blood tests too. The specialist from Oxford was amazing, arranging for me to have baseline MRI scans of my breast, and brought me back to clinic to offer the results and her opinion.

I was told that although the results showed that we did not have a well known gene link, such a BRCA for example, she believed that there would not be such a strong breast and ovarian cancer trend in our family without it being genetically linked. She summarised that she felt I had a 85% chance of having breast cancer at 50+; and suggested, that although not an immediate concern I should consider future preventative surgeries. she advised me to have good breast knowledge and to ensure I started having mammograms at 40.

Ten or so years later, and on Christmas Eve 2020 (yes THAT year) I found a lump in my boob. I’m pretty good at checking in the shower, so it definitely concerned me enough to want to have it checked. With it being Christmas and covid times, it wasn’t the easiest to get seen by the GP- but amazingly I did manage to get referred in quickly, as was seen at the breast care centre in mid January.

Due to my age, 39 at that point, and my family history, the team decided to use both mammogram and ultrasound to ensure the best images possible. Two hours later, I was given the good news that my lump was a benign cyst, and was likely small enough to disappear on its own. I was given the advice that if it increased in size or became painful it may require drainage. They also said my scans would count as the start of my ‘at risk’ screening, and that I’d have yearly mammograms from then on. Luckily the cyst kindly did one, and I’ve had no concerns since.

Writing this blog has reminded me that I’m due that follow up mammogram! And I’m hoping reading this blog have reminded you of the importance of checking your boobs, and seeking help if you find any changes.

Guest Blogs, Life of a Mum

Breast Cancer Awareness- Guest Blog

25th October 202216th February 2023 motherhoodafterivf

Jen Parker has been in the publishing industry for over a decade and founded her own publishing brand Fuzzy Flamingo in 2017. She now specialises in helping authors to self-publish and has had the privilege of working on dozens of Amazon best sellers.

She loves to discuss publishing and regularly talks about the importance of telling your story, and followed her own advice by publishing her own book in May this year called “Unflip: changing your life after a life-changing diagnosis”. You can find out more about her book (use the discount FUZZY3 to get £3 off the paperback RRP) and her publishing services on her website http://www.fuzzyflamingo.co.uk or find her on Facebook and Instagram by searching for @FuzzyFlamingoDesign

I was in my final year of university when my mum got diagnosed with breast cancer back in 2008. She had been due to have her mammogram later in the year but was called in early because of the timings with the mobile scanning unit. It was good timing. The scan revealed the cancer that even the consultant couldn’t feel after they knew it was there. It is incredibly important to check yourself for lumps, but mammograms are there for when that may not be enough.

She had surgery to remove the lump, but it had gone deeper than they had originally thought, and it had spread to her lymph nodes under that arm. What followed was a single mastectomy, chemotherapy and radiotherapy. The treatment was deemed a success, she was on medication for five years and then was signed off as being completely in remission. She was told that if she got cancer again it would be a new type, as they’d got it all. We were all over the moon. My mum, the tough scouser, had fought off cancer and won.

2018: Me, my mum and Lily with Amber in my growing belly in November 2018.

Seven years after her first diagnosis, just months before my wedding in 2015, she started being sick and couldn’t stop. It didn’t seem like an infection. It felt different. After being discharged from the hospital once with antibiotics, she ended up back with her GP who wouldn’t take no for an answer from the hospital, who readmitted her and scanned her abdomen. A blockage was found in her bowel, which they removed. On testing the removed cells, they found they were breast cancer cells. It was back.

The shock was unreal. How could this happen? The policies have since been changed, and if she were to have the same treatment now, she would be on the ongoing treatment for ten years rather than five. She was at least grateful that she may have helped to help others in a similar situation who followed to have a different outcome.

The cancer had spread through her abdomen, surrounding some of her organs, which meant removal wasn’t possible. She was on treatment to shrink the cancer and to keep it from spreading, which meant she was under palliative care. That phrase ‘palliative care’ frightened me. I worried that it meant she was dying, but she reassured me that it was all under control. And she did really well, other than the complications she had from her bowel surgery, which caused uncomfortable fluid retention. But for several years she was fit and active, and most people would have no idea she was a cancer patient.

But those worries were still there for me. She was stoic and would try and protect my brother and I as much as possible, which meant she didn’t always tell us the full story. We began to share information between us to ensure we had as full a picture as possible! I’d asked my mum if they were going to regularly scan her abdomen to ensure the treatment was working. She’d asked the consultant the same question and was told they wouldn’t. She asked how they’d know the treatment was working and was told, “If you start being sick again, you need to seek medical attention.” That didn’t sit well with me.

In early 2018, ten years after her initial diagnosis, she was diagnosed with further cancer in her abdomen. A third diagnosis in a decade. Shortly after, I told my mum I was expecting my second child. “That gives me a reason to get through till Christmas,” she said. But whenever I queried her diagnosis, she would always reply, “I’ve fought it before, I’ll fight it again.” And she did. Despite her abdomen frequently needing the fluid draining and her often quipping, “I look more pregnant than you!” (which did make us chuckle when we compared bellies), she was strong, active, fun-loving and there for me throughout my pregnancy.

At home: In between her two-week stay in hospital and transferring to LOROS, we had a couple of days of my mum being at home. She loved visits from the girls, Lily (2) and Amber (3 months).

My husband worked away a lot at the time, and with me having arthritis and needing c-sections in order to give birth, I felt like I couldn’t have done it the first time without my mum. The thought of potentially doing it a second time without her terrified me. I’d find myself standing in the shower crying if I thought about it. How would I cope? Was I being selfish thinking about me when I should be thinking about her? I was so angry and frustrated. If they’d just scanned her regularly, would they have been able to do something? If they’d listened to her earlier, would it have made a difference?

My mum was there to meet my second daughter the week before Christmas in 2018. We celebrated Christmas all together as a family. I looked at her on that day as she held my baby and wondered if it would be the last Christmas we’d have with her.

Christmas Day 2018: My mum holding Amber exactly a week after she was born (my brother’s in the background, as we were celebrating at his house).

In February 2019, I got the call I’d been dreading. My mum was in hospital as she’d been vomiting, and they weren’t able to stop it. After a week, the consultant called and asked me to go in and speak to him in person. I knew what was coming, but it was still a massive shock. There was nothing more they could do. She’d only be with us for a matter of weeks.

After two weeks in the hospital, after a short-lived trip home, my mum moved to LOROS, our amazing local hospice. They cared for her and made her as comfortable as possible in a beautiful setting. I will never forget the kindness and humour of the staff. I was able to be with her and my family when she died, and I will always be grateful for being able to spend that remaining time with her.

Hospice: The last photo I have of my mum with my girls, not long before she died. You can already see the substantial weightloss

Cancer doesn’t just affect the person undergoing treatment, and it is often a very long recovery process. With breast cancer awareness month, the message I’d like to share is this: check yourself, but also get checked. Say yes to the mammograms. Request a second opinion if you feel like something isn’t quite right. Although you’re talking to experts, they’re not infallible, and you know your body. The treatment has improved so much since my mum was diagnosed, and as we learn more, we can help other families to avoid heartache like mine.

Eco Mum

Great intentions- Plastic Free July

20th July 202221st July 2022 motherhoodafterivf

I had great intentions to create many blogs related to plastic free July- yet here I am on the 20th writing the first one!

I feel ‘plastic free’ or eco intentions have the same fate often; it’s an effort we often mean to make, but never quite get there! I thought I’d create a short read on some of my favourite eco products to help get you started on your plastic free journey this July….. or any month.

Rowdy Kind If you have kids then these clean and care products are awesome. Rowdy Kind was founded by Kate and Anne Marie who are sister in laws! The two mums shared the concept of Rowdy Kind and before they knew it were officially on a joint plastic free bath time mission. Rowdy Kind was launched in 2020 and now stock a full range of plastic free body care for children. I love them because the bright colours, great scents and funky design make them appealing to kids- but also because they’re plastic free, vegan and palm oil free too. Shop at Rowdy Kind use ninja10 for a nice discount.

FFS I love this brand, not only because ffs is something I often say (😆) but also because my shave routine was one of the things I struggled to make eco friendly, and they really helped.

FFS, are on a mission to be kind to your skin and the planet. That’s why their deliveries will be packaged in 100% FSC Approved Recyclable cardboard! Once finished with, you can either pop this in your recycling bin or use them to store used blades by sending them back to ffs to be recycled!

They have several complimentary products to help improve your shave, all of which are cruelty and paraben free and come in tubes made from Sugarcane polythene, which means they are also 100% recyclable.

Yes that’s personalised engraving on my razor handle!! Love it- shop at FFS to get your own eco shave routine. Use JULYSAVE20 for discount

Foamie has long been one of my fave eco brands, but now they have a new product! The most awesome dry shampoo. It’s available for dark and light hair, smells awesome and leasts no powdery residue- it’s available to buy here at Holland&Barrett

Life of a Mum

When life gives you lemons …

28th June 2022 motherhoodafterivf

Guess I’m lucky , for me it was just another day…….

At 40 I’m the same age as Dame Deborah James…… on the day she lost her life i had the privilege of a day at work, a date night with my husband and the pleasure of singing my girl to sleep.

In any other day it would seem mundane, even tiring…….

But shit….. it means a lot.

I got to wake up, get ready for work, toilet my girlie and do her hair (jobs of a mama)

My job isn’t easy. Uses my 18 years nursing experience; meeting with senior team members, liaising with medical consultants, pathology, the coroner…….

It was a rush; a full work day, handing Dot over to Nana, getting ready….. enjoying to food, drinks and music was the easy part

Hearing our loss; celebrating what was an amazing, powerful and productive life…….. singing my girl to sleep; knowing some little ones are without their mama, life is precious.

Embrace every moment….. when life throws your lemons, make lemonade. Lemon dress

Please give to the Bowel Babe fund if you can afford to Just giving bowel babe

Life of a Mum

Teachers thank you gift guide

28th June 202229th June 2022 motherhoodafterivf

Bloody difficult isn’t it; what to get someone that maybe sees your child more than you, but you don’t know them very well. Also might be more than one, so it can get expensive!!!

My gift guide is based on a modest budget of £10….. so hopefully something for everyone

No 34 Boutique obviously a local favourite of mine! They stock loads of gift options for £10 and under; earrings, socks, candles and more. They’ll even box you up a cute bundle such as this ….. check out No 34 boutique on Instagram or pop into their Market Harborough boutique

Memories and gifts there’s lots of low cost teachers gifts here, lots are personalised too. My favourite if the card and gift in one- this cute personalised card has a detachable magnet and is £8 Buy here

Isabellas Illustration’s if you’re a teacher you’ve gotta love stationery right? I bloody love something to update my desk….. this positivity planner is so cute and just £4.99 Buy here

Leicestershire Craft Centre know a creative teacher??? Then a voucher from here would be awesome! They could put it towards a workshop (starting from £10) a DIY kit or even a pattern Leicestershire Craft Centre

Primrose and Bear I love these cute personalised pouches from Primrose and Bear perfect for pens, makeup or any other handbag essentials and they’re only £10

Family time

Father’s Day gift guide 2022

8th June 20229th June 2022 motherhoodafterivf

Hey, yes it’s upon us again! Here’s a few of my faves for all the Dads out there, these will suit a range of budgets, so check this out and tell me what you think.

Sweet tooth dads we are lucky in Market Harborough to have wonderfully creative bakers check out these treats from Enchanted Pantry and BAKED by Emily Davis

foodie dads I love the look of these from RIV salt their range isn’t just Scandinavian aesthetically stunning but super useful too. My hubby always (incorrectly) feels I under season things- so this would be perfect for him. RIV salt have a gift for all budgets too! Stockists include amazon and Harvey Nicks

Can take a joke dad yup, I love this gift bundle from No 34 Boutique – for our stinkiest dadas!!! Very useful poop spray- for after that Father’s Day roast, and who doesn’t need new socks? …… Also a great opportunity to treat yourself whilst there!

A thoughtful touch I adore these cards from AIMEE they’re personalisable for Dads, Daddy’s, Grandpas etc, and your little ones get to fill them in and colour too

Budget friendly Cherry Bloom Clothing have lots of budget friendly gifts for Dads, from this pj set at £16 posted

To this cute photo frame at just £5 posted

IVF, Life of a Mum

Parenthood hasn’t cured our infertility.

30th April 2022 motherhoodafterivf

Yes it’s National (or is it international) fertility awareness week. And I couldn’t let it pass without getting back to my roots, and the reason I started on Instagram and blogging.

My names Kelly and I’m infertile! Yes I’m also a mum of one- but this was after two gruelling rounds of IVF. And despite becoming a mum 5 years ago, a miracle hasn’t occurred- yup I’m still infertile!

So so so many people, it’s very annoying; have said ‘they know someone’ (yes we all do- but they’re probably the exception to the rule) that once they had IVF it ‘reset’ them and now they can get pregnant and have had more babies.

But, nah- doesn’t seem that fairy dust has been sprinkled this way. My/our infertility issues have not majestically regressed.

Infertility affects 1 in 7 heterosexual couple in the Uk NICE data and facts ….. and the older you get the more this increases. Despite that, infertility treatments are still very much underfunded and unavailable, unless you have a spare £10-20k sitting in the bank (which of course after the past few years, we all do, obvs)

So it fairly common, it affects your life, and yet treatment isn’t readily available, nor do we receive much (if any) education about fertility or infertility. Yes the majority of our teenage years and our twenties, it’s drummed into us about safe sex, and not having an unwanted pregnancy. This gives us all the false sense of security that we are all super fertile and then getting preggo is easy!!! Well for some it bloody isn’t.

My advice; never assume! If you’re in your twenties and wish to hold of ‘starting a family’ (I hate that term) then invest in some basic tests regarding your fertility- such as your hormone levels (blood tests), follicle count (ultrasound) and AMH (blood test)- this may support your feelings to wait, but may also indicate that your fertility isn’t all you’ve been led to believe. You, of course have options, to consider baby making earlier than planned or by banking/freezing eggs or embryos.

If you’re a guy; it’s similar, get some bloods and a sperm analysis (typically is cheaper and less invasive for men)

Unfortunately very little funded treatment is available on the NHS. So although we have 5 perfect ‘maybe baby’ embryos in the freezer, it’s more difficult to have the several thousand of pounds needed for treatment. But…. If you smoke, drink, take Drugs- and you have health issues related to this; then of course you can get NHS treatment and also medications. Don’t get me started.

Let me know your thoughts……

highlighton other fab ladies, Life of a Mum, mama Style

Essentially blended full body massage!

24th April 202224th April 2022 motherhoodafterivf

I’ll start my saying ‘oh my!’

Firstly on my arrival I noted it was a beautiful setting; the sun was beaming down, there’s plenty of free close parking and Idyllic Well-being is wonderfully welcoming.

Clean, tidy, friendly and relaxing. The Idyllic well-being cabin is beautifully spacious and inviting, I was greeted with a smile and Laura from Essentially Blended came through and took me to the treatment room.

I must admit, I have a super busy life, and when I booked a ‘full body massage’ – I did not further reading or investigation. I was expecting a ‘full body massage’ for maybe 60 mins.

But, what I got was so much more! Laura is a well trained aromatherapist, not just a masseuse/beauty therapist, and it shows. First she went through a comprehensive and holistic assessment of me, my body, my lifestyle and my needs.

Essentially Blended has totally undersold herself with this treatment! I’ve had treatments at Spas that cost double, but we’re no where near as good as this. I wouldn’t call this a full body massage- more a full body experience.

I was in with Laura for about two hours in total. And was massages from top to toe, with a blended oil made specifically for me. The room smelt amazing, and as well as massaging me with an oil, she also popped a steamy bowl under the couch to relax me.

This was FULL body- I never knew how much tension I held in my forearms and lower legs and insteps until I had this treatment. Louise even gives you a mini facial, and amazing fragranced mask from Evolve Beauty whilst she performs the most exquisite head massage; that gentle but firm hair pulling was insane!

Laura even gave me (decent sized bottle) of a 3% oil blend to help my muscular tension to take home! Honestly, take my advice and quickly book up before she ups her prices

Honestly, it was the best massage ever. Huge thanks to Laura for gifting me a voucher towards this experience. You can find Essentially Blended at Wistow, in Idyllic Well-being, Leicestershire.

Life of a Mum, mama Style, Other fabulous ladies

Mother’s Day gift guide

17th March 2022 motherhoodafterivf

I love a good gift guide mainly because I like browsing and thinking what I would like. Most of all I love shopping local which is why this Mother’s Day gift guide is the Market Harborough edit.

I think they think special about shopping locally supporting small businesses instead of the big guys because as we know when you buy from a small business that small business owner does a happy dance.

If you follow my Instagram you’ll probably know I love shopping at number 34 boutique there’s something there for for everyone and I love the spring colours of this beautiful scarf and handbag. If your budget is smaller why not grab a beautiful pair of earrings. No 34 on insta

I’m loving my make up at the moment and I bought a pallete from Midlife Happylife a year ago and love mixing and matching all the different products and colours that you can have. Why not treat your mum to a little mini makeover with Charlie and spoil her with her own custom made pallete.

For me an ultimate treat is a wonderful full body massage, local Laura Essentially Blended is a qualified aromatherapist I’m booked with in with her on Monday and I just can’t wait. She has space at Idyllic well-being in Wistow- a great setting where you can relax with a coffee too. Why not surprise your mum with a gift voucher

I love gifts that are activities and there is a brilliant local one that would be perfect to bring your mum to. Just before Mother’s Day _Insta mums meet ups are holding a spring wreath workshop hosted by The Flower bar harborough the workshop is only £35 including a glass of fizz Book here wouldn’t it be great to have a gorgeous bright and colourful wreath hanging on yours and your mum‘s doors on Mothering Sunday

Cornwall, days out

National maritime Museum- Falmouth

13th February 202214th February 2022 motherhoodafterivf

We’ve always enjoyed a day trip to Falmouth; and this time we got to enjoy a fun filled afternoon at the National Maritime Museum . {PR-Trip}

Falmouth, on the South Cornwall coast, is a fitting setting for this chance to discover more about the sea; and everything in, on on it!

. The Museum is located on aptly named Discovery Quay , and is a vast, iconic building, home to exciting exhibitions and a wide range of galleries taking visitors on a journey through the influence of the sea on history and culture.

The building was custom designed and built on land that was once covered in the sheds of boat builders. These sheds inspired the design of the building which is covered in green oak. The building has the most fantastic, breathtaking views over Falmouth harbour.

Is probably obvious; but it can be cool and windy on the Quay, so wrap up to enjoy the best views and explore.

In the building you can go high!!! Up 100ft to the lookout tower for the epic views across the harbour! You can also go low- floor -2 you’re under the sea, looking at the sea floor and shellfish. Dorothea loved both; but her favourite was being underwater (but still dry)

Obviously there’s loads to learn about maritime history and sailing; and plenty of boats to look at and even have a sneaky try on.

It was great to read about many amazing trips across seas in small vessels, awesome rescues and Olympic winners!!

One of the galleries if full of the weird and wonderful!!!! Dorothea was intrigued by mermaids, unicorns and Swangooses! But what is real? And what is mythical???

Our favourite was the monsters of the deep; because, well anything dark, spooky with funky lights is a winner. But also we found that the deep is just as interesting as space; perhaps even more so.

With creepy, bony, weird creatures- many alien like – we never imagined such things existed!!!! jars and jars of weird and wonderful sea creatures- Dotty was quite spooked by it.

During each school holiday they have extra showcases; and this week is ‘Science of the sea’

As Tattoo fans we loved the added bonus of ‘ Tattoo : British Tattoo Art Revealed’ this opened at the Museum to huge acclaim in 2017, and after touring nationally its back in Falmouth. We loved the ‘100 arms display’ with so so many different tattoo styles.

The exhibition challenges long-standing myths and pre-conceptions about tattooing when it comes to class, gender and age, whilst at the same time celebrating the astonishingly rich artistic heritage of tattooing in the UK. Our favourite was the tattoo studio set up with ‘that sound’ and ‘that smell’ – if you know, you know.

Make Falmouth into a full day out by exploring the town and grabbing a bite to eat. We love the views at pizza express, dirty friend at the Hub or grabbing a pasty or chips in town.

Falmouth town is eclectic; with well known chains, awesome independent shops and quirky curio shops! Walk up and explore, upto Joules it’s lovely (after that it’s much like any town). We love the The Bean Hive , the fishing/surfer shops and Cream of Cornwall (home interiors). On a sunny day a pint/glass at one of the outdoor bars on the quay is awesome.

Let me know if you try this day out; and what you think.

highlighton other fab ladies, Life of a Mum, mama Style, Other fabulous ladies

Valentines gift guide

26th January 20223rd February 2022 motherhoodafterivf

It’s a hard one; do you go for the traditional; but well loved? The cheeky!? The personalised? The edible? Or the cute? (Or do you just forget it (#awkward)

Are you buying for your girlfriend, wife, or maybe even Galantine???? Either way I can hopefully show you some awesome ‘small businesses’ that you may not be familiar with.

Personalised – sometimes it nice to be unique; with an awesome creation using a special song, your pictures, or even both. I love all of Aimee Rose Designs but for me it had to be this special song foil print with our wedding picture

I adored her designs so much, I went for the Valentine’s Day card too

Edible If you are local to Market Harborough then you simply must try Enchanted Pantry all of Dawns makes are divine, but her Valentines menu looks spectacular- take a look

Thoughtful After all the greatest gift you can give us time…… Ava and Co I love these watches because they are beautiful; but lovely bonus is that they are a small Leicestershire based brand….. even more so is the story behind the brand and the ‘Ava’ in Ava and Co- go take a read

Traditional Roses- but not just any roses, roses from wonderful Philomena at the Flower Bar Market Harborough they’ll be wrapped plastic free and be ruddy stunning

For fashion lovers head to No 34 boutique in market Harborough they are currently full of pink and red loveliness all the heart accessories, wonderful cosy jumpers and perfect handbags.

Go all out and buy a cosy knit with some valentines accessories as a real treat. Not local to Market Harborough- head online to No 34 webshop

Pamper Needed? Then I have the place for you….. Secret Garden in Lutterworth is a hidden gem of a spa. I love their twilight packages and can imagine they’d be the perfect romantic treat

Three hours relaxing; food, fizz, a treatment and hot tub time. Honestly it’s perfect…… but shhhh don’t tell everyone The Secret garden web

Beauty addict? The Laura Lane make up artist brushes are a real treat. There’s an eye set, or a face set; but to really spoil her go for both.

Laura also does make up classes; which I really fancy and sticks lots of awesome makes up and accessories including this own brand make up/travel case. Find our more Laura Lane Web

I hope I’ve given you lots of inspiration; lemme know in comments what you think…..

Guest Blogs, Life of a Mum

Apps For Naps: Useful Phone Downloads For New Parents

26th January 2022 motherhoodafterivf

First-time parenthood is exhilarating, but it can also feel overwhelming. Luckily, technology has evolved to help out, and downloading the right apps can take a huge load off your shoulders, giving you more time to spend on the little one (and catching up on sleep). Here are some for you to consider.

Milk Maid

The health benefits of feeding your baby breast milk can be tremendous. If you’re hoping to breastfeed for as long as possible, you’ll need help keeping track of how much you’ve fed them, or how much milk you’ve pumped and stored. This can be challenging as you juggle the overwhelming responsibilities of new parenthood, but Milk maid can help you to reach a balance. Including handy trackers and timers, Milk Maid keeps all your breastmilk data in one safe place. You can even export it to a spreadsheet for easy viewing later.

Sleep Baby Sleep

As all parents know, getting your infant into a regular sleep routine is vital for your sanity! Most times, though, it’s impossible to keep the hustle and bustle of the household under wraps to ensure that your baby’s sleep isn’t disturbed. Sleep baby sleep is a white noise app that mutes all surrounding sounds, allowing you to keep up with the other tasks on your to-do list while having the peace of mind that the little one is getting proper rest.

The Wonder Weeks

Baby Milestones are important events to remember in your child’s life and tracking them can help to ensure that your infant is developing at the correct rate. The Wonder weeks app builds a catalog of all those special moments, so you’ll never have to worry about forgetting them. The app grants you access to handy personalized schedules and diaries, as well as relevant parenting audiobooks and ebooks. There’s even a 4G enabled baby monitor available to make checking in on your baby that much easier.

Redfin

A home that seemed big enough for you and your partner will begin to feel infinitely smaller once your newborn arrives, and you definitely don’t want to Baby proof your entire apartment before realizing you need to move into a bigger space. The Red fin (USA based) app makes fitting house hunting into your busy schedule a breeze since you’ll be able to filter listings to find your ideal match. If you don’t have the time to check out properties of interest in person, the app allows you to do virtual walkthroughs, giving you a real-life feel for your new home.

Cozi Family Organizer

Once your baby begins to grow, you’ll want to start enrolling them in fun extracurricular activities – this can mean a busier daily schedule. If you’re having trouble keeping track of everyone in the household’s calendar, the Cozi Family organiser app stores all your appointments in one, easy-to-access place. You’ll also be able to create shared grocery lists and a chores roster for everyone to follow.

Technology affords new parents luxuries that older generations could only have dreamed of. By letting apps handle the more menial tasks, you can focus on the important tasks, enjoy more free time and take control of your routine as a new parent.

Blog kindly written by Josh Moore, check our his page Diaper Dads

Life of a Mum, mama Style

No 34 boutique- my Valentines fashion favourites

23rd January 2022 motherhoodafterivf

No 34 is one of my fave places to shop, a small (but perfectly formed) ladies fashion boutique in the beautiful market town that is Market Harborough. Situated at the far end of High Street (opposite Zizzi) but definitely worth the wander, with some of my other favourites- Wilkinson’s Goldsmith, and ‘in heaven at home’ close by.

No 34 always has the most wonderful themed windows, with so much to choose from. So thought I’d show you my Valentines favourites.

The ultimate sweater is now available in a sweater dress, and this colour is perfect for February

I love a hairband to keep the pesky fringe back, and what could be better than these with a cute heart print

Lucky enough to be going out for a romantic dinner, this hearts and stars dress is stunning, and definitely on my wish list.

To shop at No 34 head into the boutique…… or if not local (or eager to shop out of hours) head to No 34 online shopping

If you’re on Insta- then follow No 34s page- they regularly do entertaining ‘live’ shopping nights, worth it for entertainment and to pick up an addition to your wardrobe. No 34 insta

Christmas, Life of a Mum

Christmas gift guide

16th November 202125th November 2021 motherhoodafterivf

I think it’s a time of year where we all struggle to know what to buy our kids! What do they actually need or want; after all we don’t need more stuff in the house.

I love to use the saying; ‘something they want, something they need, something to wear and something to read’ So this may be a shorter a list/blog then you are used to seeing when it comes to Christmas lists.

Something they want- Tonies. Dorothea loves her Tonie box, she’s had it for a couple of years now, but never bored of it. It’s plays songs and stories, depending on which Tonie characters you get. You can even buy a Personal Tonie that friends and family can record stories and messages on. Tonies

The actual box is super sturdy (ours was dropped down stairs and survived) and simple and easy for little hands and minds to use. The box sits on the charger/stand, but had a good life off of charge so can be taken on journeys too. <a href="http://<a href="https://tidd.ly/313FE2g" target="_blank" rel="sponsored">Tonies (aff link)

Frugi

All items from Frugi

We love Frugi- and they can tick boxes for wear ✅ and need ✅ hoorah!!!! we love their water bottles for school or trips Water bottle (aff link) and their rucksakes are awesome quality too. We have this stunning festive dress- Dot loves it because it’s tailor, who wouldn’t, and the bow is removable too. Frugi Christmas dress (aff link) Both items I’ve linked too are also in the sale!!!!

Something to read this has got to be one of our favourite Christmas books, reminds me of being little and I think every child should have one The jolly Christmas Postman

A few other bits: I appreciate the above may not be to your taste or what your child wants, here are a few other ideas we’ve bought Dorothea

Hape- scales

Phonics dominoes

I hope this short; but perfectly formed gift list helps, remembers Christmas isn’t about ‘things’ it’s about making memories. Drop me a comment if you’ve enjoyed this and/or purchased any of my recommendations

Life of a Mum

Rheumatoid helpers

15th November 202125th November 2021 motherhoodafterivf

My rheumatoid arthritis isn’t something I talk/write about often. But it is a huge part of my life; I have to take lots of nasty meds, and it restricts what I can eat, drink and physically do.

I’ve found there’s a few things that definitely help with my rheumatoid symptoms- so thought I’d share with those of you who are also living with RA or another spoonie illness

CBD

At the moment I’m loving Columbia care CBD oil (peppermint flavour) and capsules. They are a must have to improves sleep, and I think they ease my pain, swelling and stiffness too.

Columbia Care Insta gave me the code ‘IVFninjafree’ for the first 50 uses go to https://www.shop.col-care.uk/shop to get (pay for postage only) you can choose from the oil or capsules.

I also love Browns CBD gummies and calming balm. I find the gummies are great to have in my bag (handy for anxiety) and the balm (also containing wintergreen) is helpful when I have sore/swollen/stiff joints.

Compression Gloves I’ve tried a few different makes and types. My preference is the IMAK gloves or copper gloves.

The IMAK gloves are definitely the ones that feel the most compressive; I like to squeeze my tender joints (like rubbing a bruise) so if you to your these may work well. Buy IMAK gloves on amazon

The copper gloves are definitely more gentle and comfortable with more stretch. Buy copper gloves on Amazon oooh and they’re more cost effective too.

Foot splints Although the best option is specifically made orthotics (splints and insoles) I have been waiting for this for months so purchased my own. They do the job – great for in the house but wouldn’t be comfortable with footwear on. They seem to help straighten my toes, so I get less pain from ‘wonk’ and overlap. Buy Foot/big toe splint from Amazon

Weighted blanket I love my weighted blanket. Literally the comfort of a big hug, helps calm the limbs when you just want to keep moving them. It’s important to get a blanket in accordance with your weight- it should be approx 10% of your body weigh. I’m just over 60kg so use a 6 kg blanket. Such as this one from Amazon

Let me know what you think if you try these, or recommend something new.

Amazon links are AFF links- I earn money if you buy. The cbd I was gifted but not affiliate/commission

Eco Mum, Life of a Mum

Plastic Free Periods

30th July 20219th November 2021 motherhoodafterivf

In the past few years my approach to periods has really changed; it started gradually, but now I’m totally plastic free, with a range of products that I love and get me through that time of the month.

I have a short cycle, 19 days, so have more periods than most, its sucks a bit. So that’s 19 periods a year, bleeding 5 days a time- 95days bleeding per year (eeeek!) In ‘old money’ that would be 380 pads or tampons per year!!!!! Not only is that lots of ££££ (which could be better spent on new shoes) but alllllll the waste: plastic wrappers, pads, tampons, boxes.

So I thought I’d introduce you to my ways; I use a range of different products, so hopefully something to suit everyone, or at least something you may be willing to give a try.

Period Cup I’ve tried a few different cups, all have a very similar design; a simple silicone cup, with a ‘wick’ at the bottom to aid removal, and a flexible silicone ring at the top. The favourite cup I’ve used, and I’m sticking with is the CUP IT kit from Secret Whispers. This kit is great becomes it comes with two cups; a smaller blue one and a larger pink one- so you have the option to try both, instead of wasting your money on the wrong size. Most cup brands offer a couple of cup sizes- one for younger women and/or those that have not had a vaginal birth, and a second for (you guessed it) older women and/or those that have had a vaginal birth, but this is obviously just a guide, and you may find you need the other side.

Cups are simple enough to use, but take a little practice: but by the end of my second period I had no leaks. Whilst experimenting with cups I’d advise to also ‘double up’ with a pair of period pants or a reusable pad (see below). You only need one cup, take out; empty (rinse/wipe), and reinsert. The cup it kit comes with a small material bag to keep your cup in your bag whilst expecting your period.

My tips for cups are:

Fold the cup ring in half, squish between your thumb and index finger of your dominant hand an insert- try and push a tiny bit further up.
You may need to ‘trim the wick’ for comfort
When removing, squeeze the base of the cup (so there’s no vacuum) before gently pulling the wick
Try both sizes to see what suits best
Stick with it for 2/3 periods before you decide whether its for you.
if you don’t get on with one brand, try another
Enjoy the £££ you save

Shop at secret whispers use ‘ivfninja-10’ for discount

Period Pants I held off trying period pants for ages, as I just didn’t get how they could be effective. I always preferred tampons to pads, so a cup felt more my ‘normal’. Then Wuka (Wake Up Kick Ass) sent me some pants to try ~(AD-pr product)- and WOW!!

There are lots of different brands available, but I’ve only tried WUKA and couldn’t pick fault with them, so haven’t tried others. They have a range of different pants from thong, to high leg bikini, to shorts, and they come in different absorbencies too; their super heavy can hold 60 mls of blood!

They are super comfy, absorb the blood away from your body, so you don’t feel sticky and stinky, and they’re really discreet too. on a ‘normal’ flow day I wear one pair all day and then change for the night- yes, they’re that good, they keep me sorted for a 12.5 hr shift on my feet. Shop at Wuka

My tips for period pants:

Wear when expecting your period to avoid any ‘oh no moments’
Buy a range of fits and absorbencies to suit your flow
great for post partum
use with a cup whilst getting used to it
Try with your daughters as easier/less daunting then a cup

Reusable/washable pads Probably the easiest of swaps, as you literally swap disposables for these much prettier and eco friendly version.

I was really apprehensive again, but after being gifted some Bloom and Nora pads I love them. Great for extra reassurance when wearing a cup (or tampon) or on their own.

They come in a range of shapes and sizes for everyday of your cycle-and they wash easily and retain their colour. Bloom and Nora do a great wet/dry bag as well, so you can store used pads with no mess or smell.

Shop at Bloom & Nora

Let me know what you think?

Family time

Kelmarsh gardens and fairy trail

27th June 202119th April 2022 motherhoodafterivf

If you are local to Northamptonshire or Leicestershire then Kelmarsh is a wonderful family day trip.

Kelmarsh Hall and Gardens is an elegant Palladian style country house with a prevailing history of the 20^th century.
Built in the 1730s, Kelmarsh hall was the beloved home to three families across two hundred and fifty years.
Surrounding the hall are historic gardens, restored to evoke their early 20^th century designs,
with a unique walled garden at the heart.

Even the long private drive upto the hall is impressive, lined with flowers, stunning views and the infamous white Kelmarsh herd.

Kelmarsh Hall and gardens is situation in Northamptonshire- just off the A508 and A14, but isn’t far from the Leicestershire border.

Entrance prices to the gardens are £6 for adults and £3.50 for children, family tickets and very affordable season tickets are also available. At additional cost you can also visit the hall and explore its intriguing history.

There’s many amazing picnic spots with a view; so don’t forget your blankets. Or you can treat yourselves at Sweet Pea Vintage tearoom, which was super busy when we visited.

Whether you pop in for a short visit for tea and cake, or plan to stay all day, you won’t be disappointed. The adults will love the beautiful gardens, stunning views and impressive architecture.

The little ones will marvel at the cute fairy trail. Dorothea has been many times, but still loves creeping around to try and spot the hiding fairies, knock on the tiny doors and searching for animals in the trees.

There many an opportunity for hide and seek on the woodland walk, and Dorothea always enjoyed exploring, and seems to find new tree carving or beautiful statues each time.

Adults wanting a moments peace can stroll down by the lake; if you are lucky you may even spot the resident swans and new cynets, or just sit by the lake and admire the view.

Kelmarsh Hall and gardens is also available for weddings and events….. link below

Kelmarsh web

Kelmarsh weddings web

Kelmarsh insta

Kelmarsh Weddings insta

Family time, Life of a Mum

Hello Fresh- pescatarian life

18th June 2021 motherhoodafterivf

A lovely colleague introduced me to Hello Fresh in May- and I love it.

Our family is a pescatarian, vegetarian mix……… I’m a pescatarian foodie and the husband is a picky vegetarian, little Dorothea will try anything, but has her favourites.

I love cooking- but sometimes lack the time and planning to create new things; so hello fresh is perfect for me.

I save my favourite recipe cards; so I can start buying in the store cupboard essentials needed for them.

I thought I’d do a super short blog; to show you my favourites and offer you a chance to try hello fresh yourself with £20 off Hello Fresh with £20 off

Hand me the Gin

Father’s Day gin

12th June 20219th November 2021 motherhoodafterivf

Family time

Philip Hill photography Cornwall

11th June 202111th June 2021 motherhoodafterivf

On our last trip to Cornwall in May the lovely Philip Hill offered us a photo shoot. We gratefully accepted and met him on the glorious wide expanse on sand of Gwithian beach Hayle

Phil quickly made us feel at ease; just chatting and said to just explore and play. Dorothea can often be shy with new people; but was quickly chatting to Phil as he was showing interest and encouraging her to mess around!

The photo shoot in all took less than 2 hours; and was very relaxed. It felt more like a play and walk on a beach, rather than a structured formal shoot.

As you can see the pictures are beautifully natural, and the whole experience was relaxed and fun.

Philip is local to South Cornwall and is available for family photography, holiday photography, bump to one, animal photography and weddings.

Less than two weeks later view showed me a preview of over 100 photographs; and then I chose the ones shown here to be edited and in high resolution.

Let me know what you think…………….See his links below

Web

Insta

Playtime

Whistletot Lane

9th June 20219th November 2021 motherhoodafterivf

Whistletot Lane is a mobile ‘role play village’ based in Leicestershire.

Since Dorothea was tiny we’ve enjoyed attending creator Freya’s initial classes ‘Story Imaginory’- last month she launched this new venture.

Classes/sessions are running in Market Harborough, Kibworth and Wigston- these would be suitable for babies; once they have confident sitting balance up to school age. Dorothea is 4.5 years and loved it.

Wherever possible Freya’s set ups use ethical/wooden/high quality toys from great brands such as Le Toy Van, tender leaf, Olli Ella and Melissa and Doug.

There are two set ups that change each week; yesterday’s was: vets, post office, cafe, cleaning, campsite, building site and there’s also a book area with a ball pit.

Dorotheas favourite section yesterday was the cafe and she enjoyed making mummy ice creams.

It’s a lovely environment for mums; with free unlimited tea and coffee- and also cakes available to buy if you’re feeling peckish.

It’s obvious Freya prioritises cleanliness, safety and quality. All the areas were spotlessly clean, gel and wipes were available- and drinks served using disposables.

We can wait to go again next week

Classes are pay as you go; but need to be booked in advance- £7 a sessions and siblings are 1/2 price ( or FREE if under 9 months) Whistletot Lane web

Insta- Whistletot Lane

Also look at their other classes storyimaginory Baby relax

Dots outfit – shorts from Small eco steps use ‘kelly’ for discount, tee from Bee boo buzz use ‘ninja10’ for discount

Eco Mum

Christmas gifts for the eco friendly

26th November 20205th December 2020 motherhoodafterivf

Eeeeek…… do you know your friend drops all the #plasticfree tags, or your cousin is super eco friendly???? Believe it or not they’re not super hard to buy for…… heres my top eco must haves for the super greens.

Make something

Sounds cheesy; but loads of thought goes into handmade. Think homemade granola, brownie mix, bath boards or a super retro mix tape! Here’s a great blog with some fabulous ideas Homemade gift blog

Cup it- secret whispers

Now you’d prob have to know her quite well for that I’m to be an idea; but it truly is a life changer! If your sister/bestie/workmate- is keen on being plastic free or reducing waste, then she’ll thank you for this (probably after giving you a weird look first). I started using period cups about two years ago- and I’m annoyed I didn’t try it sooner! Saves you loads of dosh(spend on gin), no nasty chemicals or risk of tss (so healthier) and no more whiffy bins to empty (hoorah!) honestly – game changer

Nothing new by Ruthie ru

I’m slightly obsessed by the cute upcycled jewellery from Nothing new by Ruthie Ru loads of awesome quirky pieces made from recycled vinyl or cds. Check them out.

Klean kanteen mug/cup or straws

From stocking filler straws, to secret Santa coffee cups, you could even make up a box of eco dreams for your son/daughter at uni. We find Klean Kanteen products to be great value, last well and love the fab colours too- definitely something for all the family here.

Tropic products

I love Tropic products! Made with all natural, cruelty free ingredients, some are even refillable! Speak to Charlie at Charlie Ball Tropic for recommendations and to order. I’d recommend an awesomely scented body pebble for your secret Santa, and the amazing personalised make up palette for you bestie ( oooh and treat yourself to the super greens serum and feel fresh deo whilst your there)

Refill rev voucher

Everyone loves a voucher (as does the giver, when you just don’t know what to buy). So if you’re buying for an eco warrior a Refill revolution voucher is the one- means they can get anything; from a spork, jar or sweets, coffee cup, period pants or even some lentils!

Planet picnic

One for outdoorsy families; we love our planet picnic reusables- they come out every weekend! Our egg sarnies are always in our wrap- opens up to a nice little knee blanket, Dot always has her snacks ready for the car in a snack pack, and our bamboo cutlery is ready to go. Planet Picnic fabric options are always funky, easy to wash and handmade too.

Soda stream

I bought my hubby a soda stream for his birthday and we love it!!! As you may know we like a gin or five, so it must save us tonnes of plastic mixer bottles. They even have a discounted gas recycle/refill scheme! Use this link for 10% off Soda stream

Vouchers for preloved fashion

Another (healthy) obsession of mine; I just love preloved fashion, and your eco friendly friend will to. If you’re local to Market Harborough grab a voucher for The Attic or Ginger Kate – you can grab wonderfully quirky blouses, a bargain designer piece, or (if you’re like me) just one more leopard print item!

Zen garden

Check out Zen garden for stunning zero waste beauty products. One product is perfect for a secret Santa- or make up a luxurious hamper for your best friend.

There we have it- buy them AND try them yourself- make sure you drop me a comment with what you think.

Life of a Mum

Pre Christmas declutter/clean

24th November 202024th November 2020 motherhoodafterivf

We’ve had a massive declutter/clear out of most of our rooms/cupboards etc. With Christmas and Dorothea’s birthday coming up soon; we are bound to have an influx of new toys, clothes and home bits and bobs.

I thought I’d share our tips and tricks for decluttering, sorting and disposing of (don’t worry- it’s eco friendly where possible).

Hallway:

Full clean inc carpet freshen (see lounge)
Buy some gorgeous festive blooms from Bloom and Wild use this link for £10 off (they even do make your own wreath kits if you’re feeling creative)
Treat yourself to a fresh new vase Cox and Cox here’s a link to £20 off

Kids room:

Sort of clothes into piles

Too big/wrong season- pack away

Fits/correct season- check if needs mending, if not fold/hang

Too small/unloved/damaged

Great condition;sell on- try Facebook marketplace or eBay if you have time.
Great condition; no time- sell through Peachy and Birdie or Kidclo
Good used condition; charity shop donation or hand me down to those in need.
Damaged; can it be fixed? (Fix and as above) cut into rags for crafting/upcycle/dispose of

Rearrange furniture if wanted; full clean.

Tidy/organise toys as per playroom

Sort other drawers/storage.

Only keep what’s needed/recently used.

Dispose of out of date/old meds or toiletries

Buy/use drawer dividers to separate socks/vests/pants etc.

Refold clothes so neat and emery’s to find

Rehang clothes in sections so easy to find

Chuck soft toys in the wash for a freshen

Add a cute festive touch to their room; such as this ‘shelfie’ or some novelty lights.

Play room:

If your play room if anything like ours then it’s usually a warzone! If we didn’t sort this pre Christmas it would be a nightmare.

Sort toys into piles

keep- make sure they are clean and all pieces present.

sell- outgrown/unloved toys in great condition. I find Facebook marketplace works.

donate- outgrown/unloved toys in usable condition. Try local community groups or fb groups.

broken, missing parts etc. (If can not be recycled, fixed or used for crafting- dispose of)

Buy some storage if needed to help organisation of small toys. We got the units from ikea and small wooden boxes (which I painted) from eBay.
Clean original storage and toys.
Get the kids to be part of it; Dot loves to sort out things to give you a baby that doesn’t have much’.

Mum/Dads room:

Rearrange furniture if wanted; full clean.

Sort of clothes into piles

wrong season- pack away

Fits/correct season- check if needs mending, if not fold/hang

Too small/big/unloved/damaged

Fix/stain remove any damages- then sort as below or upcycle/craft/dispose of
Great condition- sell on; I love to use Thrift plus as means you donate to charity and also gain credit to re-spend (or get John Lewis vouchers) Link for £5 credit
Great condition; if you are local to Market Harborough you can sell on at The Attic (ladies clothes/shoes/accessories only)
Used but wearable- donate to charity or local organisations.

Sort drawers and clean out. Again if not needed/ used – sell/donate/throwaway.
Sort makeup/toiletries- throw away out of date, donate unused/unwanted (shelters/food bank), sort using for fresh organisation.
Buy a festive scent diffuser I love the Marmalade home fragrance if you are local you can buy these from In heaven at home

Kitchen:

Decant one cupboard at a time

Olio

Clean cupboard out

Refill cupboard- buy new ways of organising if helps

Fridge- empty, clean out and refill
Clean top of cupboards and fridge freezer
Clean oven
Clean dishwasher
Clean washing machine
Sort drawers; if not used, out of date or broken throw away/donate
Buy/fetch out festive tea towels
Buy/fetch out festive accessories
Buy a nice new treat for an eco- friendlier Christmas- our favourite gadget is a soda stream- and means you won’t get through tonnes of plastic bottles this festive season Soda Stream- 10% off here

Lounge:

Use a carpet freshener before hoovering (I make my own by filling a jar with baking soda and adding 8 drops of essential oils)
Full clean; including sofa – if you have leather I love Wheelers leather cleaner
Sort out drawers/storage- again if not needed/ used – sell/donate/throwaway.
Any old dvds/cds lying around? Maybe donate to Nothing new by Ruthie Ru
Buy some festive fragrance- I’m loving wax burners and melts- my favourites are Dragonfly and co. Or Autumn and Belle both local small businesses.

Bathroom:

Full clean (I like to de-limescale the taps and shower head too)
Clean out cabinet/storage ; anything not used, out of date or broken- then throw away/donate as appropriate (remember food banks/shelters will take unopened toiletries or sanitary products)
Reorganise with new boxes and label; i use Topsy Blossom for personalised decals.
Buy some new festive hand soap- No 34 boutique has some great novelty ones and eco friendly choices too

Garage/shed/attic:

Oh no it’s the worst place!

But you’re here to dig out the Christmas decs; winter is t the time to do a big sort of this area (too cold- leave that til spring).

But; take a quick look and see if anything easy to get rid of, unused bikes or large toys the kids are too big for??? Get them on Facebook marketplace or donate.

Get your decs out! If you’ve got some new bits you’ll find you won’t use all the old one. But don’t throw away! There’s always families that can’t afford these non essentials ( especially in 2020) so pop them on Facebook marketplace- free to collect.

My favourite cleaning products:

I do like to be as eco friendly as possible; but also have to consider the cost and whether I like the scent.

Thieves multipurpose cleaner from Young living great as all natural and can reuse your plastic bottles.
Ocean saver has loads of different options for different sprays (plastic free- just reuse old spray bottles) I love their rhubarb spray!
If you are local head to Refill Revolution in the Eco Village for great eco cleaning options- or shop online Refill Rev web

Now add Christmas cheer, pour yourself a large Baileys it’s well deserved!

Life of a Mum

Christmas Gift Guide

23rd November 202026th November 2020 motherhoodafterivf

I’ve been busy looking for gifts for Dorothea- so thought I’d come up with a gift guide blog. Dot is nearly 4 at Christmas so that’s the age group these would be suitable for.

I’ve based this on the 4 gift rule- Something they want, need, wear, and read. It’s an easy way to teach your children that they can’t have everything they want.

This is a mix of things I’ll probably get her, or things she already has and loves that your little ones may love too.

I’ve tried to stick to the more ethical/eco brands or items from small businesses. Hope you enjoy.

Want- they’ve probably asked for similar

The perfect pram.

The Neo Vario from Bayer design is a Combi pram- so easily converts to a pushchair; it can also be set up child facing or world facing. Dorothea loves the swivel wheels, meaning it’s easy to manoeuvre and great to run with. You little one won’t be disappointed with this beauty

Playset of your favourite book

Dorothea loves ‘we are going on a bear hunt’ so she adores this linked play set from Small Eco steps – it’s a great way to make a story last longer. Other story playsets are available. Use ‘ivfninja’ for discount.

Rope doll basket

Dorothea adores her babies- but doesn’t have anything like this- it’s such a reasonable price too.

https://www.nordicstork.com/collections/imaginative-play/products/rope-doll-basket

Need- these are my must haves for 3-4 year olds

Peg Doll

We love our Peg Dolls from Little Rainbow Play they can be made to order; so to look like your family, or your little ones favourite characters. Small enough to pop in your bag to amuse them at dinner, but a good chunky size for small hands. Great to support a small business too.

Balance board

A great investment is a Balance board- wonderful for all sorts of play. Dot loves hers to rock on, as a slide, or to grab a blanket and chill out on it.

Use ‘ivfninja’ for 10% discount Capikooa shop

Dorotheas favourite Doll

Dot loves her dolls- this is one of our faves. Dinkum dolls come in a diverse range of skin tones- you can also buy cute clothes and accessories. This would make a fab gift for any little one.

https://www.babyandthegang.co.uk/collections/dolls/products/olli-ella-dinkum-doll-sprout

Wear- our go-tos for an awesome wardrobe

Pigeon Organics

We love Pigeon Organics year after year they are one of our favourite brands. They wash and wear really well and the classic designs and fabrics will never go out of fashion.

Buy preloved

You can’t go wrong with good quality preloved; you get more for your money and you get to be smug for shunning fast fashion. I love preloved, as it means I save on half of Dots wardrobe, meaning I can splurge on new items from the brands I love.

My favourites are Peachy & Birdie and Kidclo give them a try.

Frugi at Small Eco Steps

We love Frugi’s values and always adore mixing up their bright colours and funky prints! For Christmas or parties their skater dresses are always a winner. Shop at Small Eco Steps and use ‘ivfninja’ for discount.

Shoes from Colourful Soles

Don’t worry grandparents; you can grab a voucher so they can go for a fitting. Colourful Soles (based in Lutterworth) stock a wonderful range of brands and styles; we rarely leave the shop with just one pair. The experience for your little one is also just awesome; a colourful shop with toys and Peppa Pig on repeat- no stress here!

Read- our favourite books

Books by Joanna Hutchinson

If you love the rhymy style of Julia Donaldson with colourful and cute illustrations- then these are the books for you. Your little one will love the cute characters, such as Hettie the Yeti, and also love guessing the rhyming word. The tales are perfect for true story lovers- as talk about other favourite stories, and are a great length for bedtime. Books by Joanne Hutchinson

Personalised Christmas book

We love this stunning book from Personalised book shop – it has so many cute touches- you can make the character look just like your little one, add a photo and a message too. Use MMMAIVF20 for discount.

Usbourne Christmas books

Every year some of our favourite Christmas books are from Usborne books- this year is no different. Great story’s, activity books and sticker books Katrina’s reading corner is my distributor- mention ‘ivf ninja’ for discount.

I’d love to know if you chose my recommendations- please drop a comment below or tag me on Instagram @ivf.ninja

Guest Blogs, IVF, Life of a Mum

Infertility following miscarriage, a guest blog

6th November 20206th November 2020 motherhoodafterivf

Thanks to lovely Lausanne for sharing her experiences of fertility issues in this blog……

Where do I start? How about right back in 2000.

I had been seeing my now husband for 6 months when we found out I was pregnant. I was 29 and he was 30. We were both in shock but neither of us were getting any younger so we knew it was what we wanted and were looking forward to the arrival of our baby in late spring 2001.

However it was not to be. I started spotting at around 8 weeks and after 2 very long and painful days I miscarried in a hospital toilet in Chislehurst in Kent. We were devastated. I had been having treatment for severe endometriosis when I fell pregnant so the fact I had actually had a positive test seemed like a miracle to me at the time.

I recall in the days following the miscarriage waking each morning only to remember that I was no longer pregnant and being overwhelmed by the crippling disappointment to no longer feel like I was doing the important job of growing a tiny human, because it didn’t matter to me that I was only 8 weeks along my every waking moment was about providing that tiny being with the best possible chance of survival.

I had no idea how common early miscarriage was until it happened to me, and you very rarely find out the reason for why they happen, and much as the medical profession see it as just one of those things it is impossible to not question yourself and was it something you did or didn’t do that caused it.

Fast forward to 2004. We were now married and living in Market Harborough. I had undergone 2 further surgeries for endometriosis.

It was almost like the procedure of having the adhesions removed followed by a treatment of zolodex medication to stop my periods put my body into the best position to get pregnant. So I fell pregnant again in July of that year.

This time round everyone assured me that it would work out for us, they could feel it in their waters or they had a good feeling about it this time. I did too, especially as I had started being sick daily at around the 7 week mark. I was advised that this was a sign of a strong pregnancy so I felt very positive. Until the first week of October literally days before my 12 week scan I started to spot again. I was terrified, why was it happening to me again, this baby was very much wanted and everyone had told me it was going to work this time……

I had to wait 2 days for my scan and I had stopped spotting and was still being sick so I had convinced myself that perhaps it was going to be ok. We had the foresight to take my mother in law with us for the scan because when I heard the question “did we get your dates muddled up” after what seemed like an eternity I knew it was over & I just shut down. I don’t remember a great deal, other than feeling so let down by my body and like I just wanted the world to stop.

My mother in law was wonderful and asked many questions which we couldn’t ask because we were consumed by grief.

Now as many women who have suffered multiple miscarriages know, you have to have suffered 3 miscarriages before they will investigate.To me this is barbaric. How on earth in this day and age is it ok to say it is ok to suffer this devastating, life changing event 3 times before it can be looked in to?

I knew I couldn’t go through the same thing again so we paid for private tests to find out if there was a cause behind the losses.

I can still remember getting a call from the consultant at the time to say they had found an issue involving a mutated gene in my test results which meant I suffered from a blood clotting disorder called Factor V Leiden. In layman’s terms it meant that the blood supply was not getting to the baby in the uterus and I was miscarrying as a result.

In order to prevent this from happening I would need to start taking a low dose of aspirin daily and in the event of any future pregnancies I would need to have daily injections to ensure my blood remained thin to stand any chance of carrying a baby to term. However this never happened because I never again conceived naturally after that miscarriage and after more surgery to deal with the ongoing debilitating disease that is endometriosis at the age of 35 we embarked on the long and arduous journey of IVF.

We soon realised with the extreme number of tests you have to endure with IVF that with a blocked left Fallopian tube and extensive endometriosis scarring and only ovarian tissue on my right hand side it would have been an impossibility to fall pregnant without intervention.

We went into our first long protocol cycle full of hope, I did everything to prepare my body, including giving up red meat, processed foods, alcohol, caffeine, you name it I wanted to make sure I was doing everything to give my body the best possible chance to be able to get pregnant.

At first it all felt like a bit of a novelty doing daily injections & having multiple scans to track my progress. You feel like you are doing the most important job in the world and as such I fell in to the trap that was the belief this is how I would get that very much longed for baby.

You are being bombarded with many statistics at every step of the way so I remember the immense feeling of disappointment at my first egg collection where I only managed to achieve a retrieval of 4 eggs. I was assured that they were good quality eggs but after 3 days only 2 of the embryos were continuing to divide so it was time to undergo the painful procedure that is embryo transfer and both embryos were put back. Then it was time for the two week wait.

I stayed at home, I remained either in bed or on the sofa, hardly daring to move in case I dislodged the embryos inside of me.

It made absolutely no difference to the result which was crippling cramping pains on day 10 of the wait followed by a very heavy period. The slap in the face of it all is that you still have to do a pregnancy test after 2 weeks just to confirm that you aren’t pregnant.

That whole procedure takes around 3 months, a quarter of a year, a whole season. You are advised to take at least a month between cycles to give your body a chance to recover, so cycle 2 is scheduled. Again I am required to undertake a long protocol as I was unsuccessful in securing any embryos for freezing with an increased dosage in my medication in the vain hope I will produce more eggs this time around.

However I fail to down regulate and remain on the drugs for 8 weeks injecting a total of 56 injections. I feel rough, am tearful, moody & my legs feel very sore to touch from the daily injections.

We are advised to stop and take a 3 month break. This seems like a lifetime and to say we were upset is an understatement.

But we continue because the statistics show for a woman of my age 95% of woman will get pregnant within 3 cycles.

So this is it cycle number 3, this will be the one that gives us our baby.

Except it isn’t.

Even with the increased meds, the successful down regulation, the successful collection of 13 eggs this time round, I still never made it to the end of the 2 week wait before I started spotting.

At this point I have had enough. I want to throw the towel in, I cannot do this anymore. I am both mentally, physically and emotionally drained. We stop.

We go on holiday, we adopt another cat, we avoid family gatherings with children, we retreat into our safe haven to lick our wounds and prepare for life as a childless couple. We make plans but there is always that gaping hole. The endometriosis kicks in again, causing so much pain some days I can barely get out of bed, I am physically sick and the pain is so intense some days that it causes me to faint. I have woken up twice on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood.

It wasn’t unusual to find me in a hot bath at 3 in the morning to try and get some pain relief whilst waiting for cocodemol to kick in.

Finally after having major surgery to remove a 5cm cyst from my right ovarian tissue I was advised that I needed to decide if I wanted to undergo any further fertility treatment because if not I would need to have a full hysterectomy. An extremely sobering moment in our lives.

We had always thought we would come back to fertility treatment again one day but now we were being told it was now or never.

So in 2014 we made the decision brave or foolish who knows to try again for one last time.

I psyched myself up for the treatment, we were on the highest dose of medication with multiple daily injections this time round only to fail at the down regulation stage again. We had to stop and break for a month which was heartbreaking but we had promised ourselves one final full cycle of treatment so we went again in the beginning of 2015.

I never believed it would be successful especially as I was as sick as a dog with a stomach bug the day before embryo transfer.

The procedure was extremely painful and I remember thinking well that is it. Our IVF journey is over and going home in silence.

I didn’t rest, I didn’t lay up, I carried on as normal and waited for the stomach cramps to come but 10 days went by with nothing, then 11, then 12, I started to think just perhaps this may be our time at last and on day 15 when I had to do my pregnancy test I will never ever forget that feeling of seeing the two pink lines.

We were ecstatic, terrified, elated, panicked, overjoyed & scared all at the same time.

I felt truly blessed to be pregnant, it wasn’t an easy pregnancy, I was sick twice a day up to 18 weeks, I had gestational diabetes and Lilia was stuck in the transverse position right up to 36 weeks where I was admitted to hospital as a precaution because of the risk of a spontaneous labour which would have killed both her and myself.

She was eventually born at 38 weeks after 15 years of trying for a baby at the age of 44.

She is more than worth the wait, I am incredibly lucky to be her mum and I know I am blessed.

My heart goes out to those who have and will endure this process, it is tough, it is painful, it is a huge gamble, it is expensive, it makes you cynical, it is a license to print money, it is unknown but without it there would be no Lilia and for that I will always be eternally grateful.

Lausanne is Market Harborough based- and like me has a huge love of kids fashion- so much so she has a preloved kids fashion business

Peachy and Birdie Shop

P&B insta

Life of a Mum

I am 3- Toddler life in Covid 2020

17th September 20205th October 2020 motherhoodafterivf

February 5th- Dorothea turns 3! life is normal, we head to Warwick play village to celebrate Dots 3rd Birthday- a delightful Birthday party at home is planned.

All her overexcited, bouncy toddler friends arrive at home for an afternoon of cheesy tunes, bubbles, water-beads, cake and dinosaurs. The lounge is Decorated with an awesome array of balloons and the most delicious, artististic cake is delivered-if only the rest of 2020 was as stunning.

After an exciting few hours: playing and dancing with friends is over: Dot is left exhausted, full of excitement of a new range of low cost cost but massively appreciated gifts; oh and more bubbles. We even managed a post Birthday family trip to Peppa pig world.

In retrospect- reviewing my diary entries on week beginning February 10th brings me to tears- hope and dreams of the year ahead are clear. Dot starts nursery, the car is booked into the garage for service (how very mundane) an theres a note in my diary to cancel the NHS pension for a few months and ‘order a new baby; meaning book into the fertility clinic to commence a FET. A couple of months prior to this we had already arranged repeat blood tests to start the process.

Although in February it was clear international virus concerns may affect us- at this point it still felt a million miles away. So Mummy continued in her NHS nursing role and life was ‘normal’ – albeit a side eye on the international news.; we certainly felt plans for holidays and expanding our family were realistic.

March brought increasing stresses at work for an immunocompromised Mummy- life became very obsessed with the risks of everyday work and life. The biological treatments and medications Mummy took daily weighed so much more on the mind than they ever had in privous months or years. What were described as rare risk factors, suddenly felt as serious risks upon our safety and family life.

An an immunocompromised nurse; working life quickly became comparable with a warzone; returning home meant undressing in the garden, and showering before i could even kiss my family hello/goodnight. Fearing for my own, and my families mortality became a daily concern- sleep was sparse and anxiety was high.

It couldn’t have been much fun for Dorothea living through February/March of 2020- unknowing there was about to be a pandemic; we planned for Dot to commence pre-school shortly after her 3rd Birthday. We carefully reviewed our local options options, and opted for a preschool which had good reviews, and would also support a slow and progressive integration into preschool life. In the weeks running up to her 3rd birthday, we both supported her in her ‘settling in sessions’, involving both Mummy and Daddy and her grandparents too.

Obviously after 3 years of the comfort of home this brought tears and anxiety; but after a few sessions Dorothea settled well, and developed a fledging relationship with her ‘key workers’ Erin and Emily. Even to this day (in September) Dorothea often says she dreams about the lovely ‘Erin and Emily’ and will ask us to ‘role play’ nursery pretending to be them.

Dorothea had only been in preschool, one day a week, for a few weeks, when i received my letter from the government that described me as ‘extremely vulnerable’ and advised me to shield for 12 weeks. This meant my immediate confinement to home, Daddys return fron the office, to ‘working at home’, and us pulling Dorothea from preschool for the immedaite future.

This was hard; we would all be restricted to life within our home/garden for the next few months. Meaning no visits or childcare from Dots loving grandparents, no trips shopping, or out for meals or visits with friends. Luckily in the first few weeks, the weather was on our side- we enjoyed the ‘holiday vibe’, with family meals, garden play and unseasonal sunshine. Following this my workplace arranged a role for me- meaning I quickly had to learn the life of a ‘ working from home Mum.’

I promptly discovered i could get the family up, dressed and an activity planned ( to entertain Dot) ready to start interviewing nurses for the COVID workforce by 9 am – work life was ‘odd’, sometimes in Pjs- apologising to candidates that they may hear a toddler in the background!

The role of recruiting nurses to the frontline was satisfying; ever grateful that those with a ‘duty to care’ were willing to do a role that i could no longer fulfil – discussing their willingness to step forward to help the country battle a ‘war’, and their eagerness to return to a role which they may have left to answer a different calling. I will never forget those conversations with those nurses which had served in wars, or previous pandemics, or returned from retirement; as they felt it was there duty. Its with a degree of guilt i will always regret not joining them in this unprecedented battle.

After a couple of months my role was no longer required. So i no longer had to explain the difference to Dorothea of a ‘work day’ and a ‘non work day’. Even now Dot will role play ‘interviews’- after months of hearing Mummy do these calls or video calls. Its actually really cute, hearing her interviewing her dolls, or teddies- she really did get a unique view of life during that time.

After my ‘recruitment role’ was no longer required, my laptop was returned to the trust and i felt useless, no form of ‘working from home’ was discussed\available and i felt pushed out and unwanted.

Lucky for me a had an excitable and inquisitive toddler in my face at 7.30 each morning. I’m not sure what i would have done without her: she gave me a reason to get my (increasingly soft) arse out of bed. The battle of lockdown for me was a truly mental one; i went from being a sociable being, in an important role (conversing with 40+ people a day), to being isolated at home: with my (busy- business owning husband) and a chatty 3 year old for company!

The purpose of this blog is to explore Dorotheas experience during 2020- so i don’t want to talk too much about me and my ‘shielding’- but having an understand of that predicament clearly helps to understand how ‘growing up’ in 2020 was so different for her.

For me its feels very easy to think about the negatives; but this extended time together did help us achieve /appreciate so much! Things we achieved in 2020;

Potty training ( see blog)
sleep training (see blog)
Dorothea seemed to develop emotionally in a massive way- so much parental involvement surely cannot be a bad thing
A huge improvement in our marital relationship/ reduction of arguments etc. ( IMO. impossible not to when you spend 24/7 together for 4 months- theres either a homocide- or you get on! – insert laughing emoji)

Things that didn’t happen in 2020:

i purchased so much paint; thinking id have time to improve the house! didn’t happen- just seems impossible with a toddler constantly attached to your leg
we thought we’d save money! Actually relying on the safer option of ‘home deliveries’- means you spend more- after all Aldi don’t do home delivery
Time to get fit/healthy- erm, well- cant really explain this one. After fits and starts of activity i’ve gained huge amounts of weight/fat- alcohol has unfortunately helped me de-stress and gain rest/sleep (this is not ideal- and something i aim to change)
We thought Dorothea would now be settled in pre-school; the fact that i have extended ‘shielding’ means it would make no sense to send Dot to pre-school (ie. increasing risks to her numerous contacts)

So it’s October 5th- shielding has been paused (extended due to me working in Leicester) and I have 2 weeks annual leave and then I return to work.

We’ll need to get Dot into some sort of routine; workout if and when we’ll get her back in pre-school- and what I want to do long term regarding my job role with COVID hanging over our heads.

Life of a Mum, Other fabulous ladies

Body Image- guest blog

14th September 202014th September 2020 motherhoodafterivf

How many of us have suffered from body image issues? *hands go up*.

Since starting my Instagram page back in April, it became apparent to me how many of us women (and men too) have struggled with the image in the mirror. One minute we are young and innocent with not a care in the world and the next – BAM, we base all of our worth on our shape, our size, ‘our beauty’.

We are subjected to a constant barrage of images and inferred expectations of a construed idea of what is ‘beautiful’ and we can’t see past it.

My daughter is 11. Do I want her to suffer those same afflictions? Hell no. We aren’t born hating our bodies, we are taught to do that. By the beauty industry, by social media, by the imagesthat we see day in and day out. I was about that same age when body image began to have an impact on me, when the words of others started to really cut deep. Then the questions in my head started. Why don’t I look like the ‘perfect’ girls in the magazines? Why are there no models that look like me?

In this day and age with so much social media surrounding our children, we need to build them up. We need to help them to love and embrace their bodies. We are all unique, all different and that’s okay. The world would be boring if we were all the same wouldn’t it?!

Children also need to know that our bodies are not just ornaments to be looked at, they are instruments that support us to do so many amazing things.

Our bodies are great, they help us to walk for miles, talk to our dearest friends, eat our favourite foods, read some wonderful stories and even jump in muddy puddles!! The children all around us are becoming consumed by their appearance more and more and that’s so sad. We need to help them to focus more on their skills, their unique traits and their amazing talents.

I’m sure that we all want our children to feel happy in the skin that they are in. We also want our children to be good people so let’s support them into putting their energy into being kind, being adventurous, being well respected, being confident, having a good heart. All of the things that have nothing to do with the outside. We are enough, they are enough, everybody is enough and we are worthy just the way that we are.

Useful links for supporting children with their bodyimage;

www.youngminds.org.uk

www.mentalhealth.org.uk

Follow Anupa on insta Sparrow legs instagram

Baby/Toddler stuff

Sleep Training a Toddler

17th August 202017th August 2020 motherhoodafterivf

So we got ourself into a bit of a predicament! May 2019 we went on holiday, the single bed wasn’t in a safe room for Dot- so she slept with us. On our return home we stayed with co-sleeping for ease, but now we really need to regain our bed and bedtime sanity.

Fortunately I met Rebecca from Sleepytime Sleep recently- and she agreed to work with us to get Dorothea to sleep in the own room. (Rebecca kindly gifted this programme to us- so posts related to this on social media will be marked as an AD)

We were totally ‘stuck in a rut’ and didn’t know how to start the process of moving Dot back to her own room, we’re totally used to the routine (of almost nothing routine) of all going to bed together, and part of both of us loved the evening tickles and cuddles. BUT Dorothea is not a delicate 3 year old- she’s a chunky tall girl, and likes to sleep limbs akimbo!

Meaning mine and Daddy’s sleep has suffered massive negative effects; waking up with bad necks/backs from contorting ourselves around her, getting woken up by kicks, face strokes and often a finger up the nostril!

Rebecca’s process begins with a quick 15 minute call – to discuss current issues and end goals, she briefly spoke me though how her process works and gave lots of reassurance that our issue is resolvable with a little work. She then emailed me a comprehensive questionnaire to complete: this covered everything from Dots daytime routine, bedtime and naptimes, her personality and what sleep supports she has.

A few days after I’d completed the questionnaire Rebecca sent the sleep plan, and arranged a zoom call to talk through it. Although the personalised plan looked like a whopper of a document: it was easy to understand and follow. The plan talks you through what to do day by day, with a proposed bedtime and attached routine; the plan changes every three days, to eventually mean you can put your child to bed awake and they’ll settle to sleep independently (sounded like the dream)

Rebecca gave me loads of tips to help get Dorothea, and her room ready for a new way of bedtime. I gave her room a big clean and tidy, decluttering also, to make the room relaxing and less distracting. We bought Dot a ‘gro clock’ which is blue for bedtime, and turns yellow when its time to get up, a set up some dimmable lights and also made up a ‘sleepy spray’ with essential oils.

Night 1

I explained to Dot throughout the day that she’d be sleeping in her own room tonight. We had a busy day, to ensure she was tired and avoided the dreaded nap. Dinner at 5.30, bath at 6.30, jigsaw with Nanna post bath and then up-to bed.

Surprisingly no crying at all- I followed Rebeccas advice to a tee, and Dot was asleep by 8.04.

The next day Rebecca checked in with us to see how we got on; like myself she was pleasantly surprised with how well it went.

Night 2

Dot now knew the process, was happy to jump in bed and have her stories- she was asleep by 7.40pm! so different to her bouncing on our bed til 9pm. That night we did have 2 wake ups, but she quickly settled. And she woke up at 7.45- her clock goes yellow at 7.15.

Looking back at our sleep diary; it seems that Dot is now always asleep within 20 minutes of getting into bed. Having a night of no wake ups is now common place: and if she does wake up and call out to us, she usually settles herself, or we can settle her within a couple of minute’s.

Part way into the plan we made a last minute decision to take a trip away to the coast, because I was nervous about how this would affect Dots sleeping I asked Rebecca if we could have a chat. She advised me to stick to the plan as closely as possible, mimicking bedtime and routines such as stories and sleep spray. Our trip away landed on nights 13, 14 and 15 of the plan- I was worried as she had such busy days she ended up having short naps in the car (unusual for her), but I was pleasantly surprised when Dot reacted well to the same routine, only playing us up a little bit, and we managed to have full nights sleep with no early wake ups!

The week after our trip away I returned to work for the first time in 4 months (due to shielding from COVID). This meant leaving Dot with grandparents, when she had been used to having me at home so much; I was therefore again wary that this may affect her sleep routine as she had become a little clingy. That week she went to bed pretty well, but we noticed a little increase in nighttime wake ups.

We have now completed a full 3 weeks of using the Sleepytime sleep plan. Dot now loves her room and bed, and never complains at bedtime. She is pretty much always fast asleep by 8pm, meaning that me and Daddy can watch a movie or share a bottle of wine. We rarely have nighttime wake ups, but if we do they are quickly resolved. So in turn me and Daddy are also sleeping much better.

I’m so pleased we decided to bite the bullet and speak to sleepytime sleep, its honestly changed our life loads. Although for the first week its quite challenging to adjust to the changes, you quickly find your way and start to appreciate the extra hours in the day.

Dorothea has also shown great changes; with her improved sleep she wakes a much happier girl, less moody tantrums and actually says when she tired and wants to go to bed.

Rebecca at Sleepytime sleep offers free 15min calls: so if you are stuck in a rut too, then drop her a message.

Sleepy time web

Sleepytime insta

Baby/Toddler stuff, Milestones

Potty training

20th July 20201st May 2022 motherhoodafterivf

People say potty training is one of the most stressful parts of parenthood; so no wonder why I’ve been putting it off!

Dot is nearly 3.5years- so yes we are ‘late’ to the game I think. But our potty training journey actually started years ago! The summer after she was 1 Dot was regularly using the potty and doing a poo, but wees have always been elusive- at the end of that summer she suddenly lost interest.

I vowed not to start again until I thought she was ready; I thought she’d suddenly show an interest, but that didn’t happen. So on her turning 3 I thought I’d start to get the wheels in motion, toilet seats were purchased for each loo (Peppa Pig- in the hope of encouraging her), we slowly started to encourage her to use the loo- starting with morning, bath time and bedtime- but no luck and no interest.

As lockdown started I had every intention to start again and really ‘train’ her- but again I never really found the motivation.

But then one night I decided the next day was it- no more nappies!

That morning after removing Dots bedtime nappy I told her she’d be wearing pants (after all we’d been talking about pants/potties/potty books/songs for ages) …..

MELTDOWN

It lasted about an hour- with her screaming ‘ no thank you Mummy’ (she’s very polite) crying, shutting herself in her room and begging ‘put a nappy on please’. After that she calmed and I just let her wander nude (obviously at home and with summer weather) – soon afterwards she asked for pants.

Since then every morning she asks for her nappy off and to pick out some new pants and get dressed.

Our biggest surprise of potty training has been how quickly Dorothea was happy to leave the house with her ‘big girl’ pants on. Initially our plan was to only potty train at home- and wear pull ups when out, but Dot was super keen and kept with pants from day one.

I’ve been reassuring Dot about accidents; saying they are all part of learning- and if she has an accident she doesn’t get too upset.

It’s totally annoying; but we ask Dot is she needs the toilet every 20 mins, after the first few days you’ll start noticing cues. Dots cues are asking what’s happens if I have an accident’ and doing a little leg cross dance- we then get her to sit on the potty every 5-10 mins until she wees.

Dot loves her cheerleaders! Her grandparents know she’s potty training, encourage her and celebrate her successes. She therefore likes to excitedly FaceTime them when she does a wee or to show them her new pants. Toddlers just love yo be good at something and receive praise.

Tips for potty training a 3 year old:

Get loads of pants! Toddlers love being picky/having a choice. We have about 15 pairs- H&M, peacocks and next offer good choice. It’s less pressure to wash everyday too.
Dot prefers the mi potty as it’s taller than most (probably very relevant to those training older toddlers) and she says is comfier and shuns the others.
Aqua wipes are great for accidents, potty wipe outs and bottom wiping.
Get a stock of leggings- supermarket or preloved. In the early days we’d get through 3/4 a day.
I can imagine warmer weather is much easier to train in, nudity and the garden have been big helpers.
Reward charts and giving your child a goal seems to work really well (Dot really wanted the Ben and Holly castle)
Patience – toddlers are very trying- and using the potty can be delaying tactics for all sorts- keep ya cool mama.
After a week everything seems to smell of pee! If you have carpets then a stock of carpet freshener (make your own with baking soda and essential oils) is great- and maybe plan to hire a carpet cleaner when the job is done. (We have a vax so I’m planning a blitz when we get her dry)

So as a finish writing this blog we have been potty training for two weeks; we’ve been accident free for 6 days. I’m so proud of Dot and she’s proud of herself.

We still put bed Dot to bed in nappy pants; often in the morning she is dry anyway, and has already asked me when she can wear nappies to bed.

Wishing anyone luck starting potty training.

Life of a Mum

Shielding (from your emotions)

9th July 202023rd July 2020 motherhoodafterivf

If you’ve read my previous blog on shielding you’d know that I’ve been doing so since March 23rd- this is due to being on medications for Rheumatoid Arthritis that cause me to be immunosuppressed.

Shielding and social distancing aren’t the same

There are two levels of higher risk—the “clinically vulnerable” which includes, among others, all over 70s, and the “clinically extremely vulnerable” who are people with certain conditions who have been contacted by the NHS. I’m classed as clinically extremely vulnerable: and as such I’ve received two letters from the government advising what I can and can’t do- this is very restrictive. This includes things such as

· Cannot go outside of the house

· Must work from home if at all

· Unable to go to the shops

· Unable to see family unless I live with them

· Must try to socially distance from those I live with (i.e. Use different bathrooms and bedrooms)

As of July 6^th the advice has changed which means I can see groups of up to 6 people outside (hurrah for seeing the grandparents in the garden.) But those a few miles away in Leicester, cannot have these restrictions dropped due to a new lockdown. So in theory I can see people, but in practise can’t see a lot of my friends as they live in the lockdown zone.

From August 1^st (unless this changes- likely as I live near Leicester and work in Leicester) advice means I’m no longer advised to shield, and can return to work, but should still socially distance and avoid socialisation whilst COVID 19 is still around. I’m not really liking the sound of the ‘new normal’ – for life as a immunocompromised person is going to be quite restrictive and isolating- TBH I want to rewind a year!

I’m a chatty, sociable person, that usually sees up to 100 people a day

Therefore I’ve found the last 14 weeks very hard. My only company has been the wonderfully chatty Dorothea (aged 3) and my husband ( usually busy working from home). Social media including zoom has really helped, but really doesn’t cut it. I’m desperate for a coffee and cake with friends, pizza and wine out or a play date meet up at the farm park.

Some people don’t care- think COVID doesn’t exist

This is so frustrating; bearing in mind I’ve almost been housebound for 16weeks. So many people simply believe COVID ‘doesn’t exist’, is a ‘big hoax- there’s so many conspiracy theories going around- which rather messes with my head! Should I really be depriving myself of normal, when lots of the world don’t even believe there’s a problem. Of course I KNOW the virus is real (obviously as I worked in a hospital in the run up to lockdown).

Guilt- others have it harder

I appreciate that I’m lucky- as a shielder I have good support from family and friends, I have a nice house and garden to spend time in and my health is reasonable. But whoever you are, and wherever you live shielding we be hard. It’s a complete loss of independence- you can’t just pop anywhere anymore, cant just drop something off to family, see people on their birthdays, accept any form of childcare, and have to rely on others to have contact with the outside world for you.

Guilt- should be at work

One of the hardest things initially was the massive guilt I felt for not being at work! As you may know my role is a frontline nursing position, so high risk but very much a ‘keyworker’ – the feeling of suddenly ‘letting my team down’ was immense- I went from working hands on with COVID patients on a Tuesday- but on the Thursday was shielding for at least 12 weeks. From an outsiders perspective you would not expect me to be shielding; I don’t look sick, I’m fairly young (for a senior nurse), slim and fit and ‘healthy’- I expect some people would feel I don’t need to be off at all.

Will people think I’m a cop out? A skiver? Pulling a sicky?

Should I ‘weigh up the risks’ and return to work earlier than advised.

Will the mental impact of shielding affect me way more than the physical aspects of COVID would have?

My mind is busy with so many thoughts; part of me doesn’t know if I can, or should ever return to my previous job. Does our ‘new normal’ mean that a nursing role is just not sensible for a person who is immunocompromised?

Emotive- lost my purpose

After working for all of my adult life (apart from maternity leave) the loss of my daily work life is immense. Going from having important role with great job satisfaction to sitting at home day in day out is very demoralising. My employer has offered me limited opportunity to do any ‘working from home’ roles, so I really feel I’ve lost my purpose.

My goodness I love Dorothea, and after trying so hard to get her of course I value my role as a mother- but for me that wasn’t all I was put on this earth for. I’m made for nursing- and not nursing when nurses are needed the most make me feel inadequate, a let down and useless. My weeks are full of ups and downs; some weeks I speak to colleague’s, read emails enthusiastically and keep up to date- but other weeks I struggle to wash and dress, feel tearful and think about my first Gin to early. To be honest my head is a mess.

Guilt- get annoyed with myself for not enjoying my ‘time ‘off’

Lets be fair- this isn’t the best ‘time off’ – it’s really not like maternity leave when you can visit friends and family, go to baby groups and out for lunch or afternoon tea. This is isolation- please don’t describe it as time off- it doesn’t feel like a holiday- it feels like a punishment.

Yes some days I feel blessed and really lucky that I have all this ‘bonus’ time with Dotty, but others I’m exhausted! Being a stay at home mum must be the hardest job ever- 15weeks in and I’ve barely been a different room to Dot- because let’s face it- toddlers will watch you wee and they rarely stop asking questions. I can’t even escape fo a few minutes peace to the shop or for a coffee- as that’s not allowed.

Mental health

I think the mental health impact of shielding is huge – I can’t speak for others; but know for me, that the longer I stay at home, the more anxious I get about returning to the ‘real world’. My bubble feels safe, shopping deliveries feel safe, locking myself away feels safe. Even driving my car (with sole purpose of ‘giving it a run’) makes me anxious- fast breathing, palpitation, paranoia and second guessing myself.

I feel everything in life from now on is going to involve some sort of risk assessment! And how exhausting will that be.

What shop should we go to?

Is the park safe?

Should Dot return to preschool?

Can I take the dog to the vets?

I really need to see the dentist- but that can’t be socially distanced!

Shielding or not shielding, worried or not worried- all I know for certain is life is going to be very different for all of us from now on. Please be kind to others- don’t be condescending or demeaning about their concerns or anxieties- after all, all of us have been through a very difficult few months.

Some useful links:

Government Shielding advice

Covid and anxiety- NHS advice

COVID anxiety- MIND advice

Playtime

Chalkola – chalk pens and board (AD)

9th July 202010th July 2020 motherhoodafterivf

One of the first things we did during lockdown was draw rainbows on our windows- I just wish we had Chalkola pens when we did.

They’re great to be creative with- be in on a chalk board, in the garden or on the windows.

We love the huge range of colours from chalkola (not just for kids- they do a huge range of products, great for creative adults too).

We were gifted this wonderful set of 30 pens by Chalkola; and I’m chuffed with them, I’ll definitely be buying more.

Both me and Dot find these easy to use (pump tip) and Dot loves drawing pictures of her family on the chalkboard and the windows. We’ve only had them a few weeks and have done so much with them- we’ve had fun creating play scenes on Dots curvy board from Young and Learning – shops, flower gardens and vets; and they wipe clean very quickly and easily.

Chalkola pens are great for:

– writing/ drawing on a chalk board

– being creative on windows or mirrors

– can be used on other no porous surfaces; be creative- we love creating play set up on our curvy board (balance board)

– mummy can ‘borrow’ for shopping list writing on a kitchen chalkboard

– paint a wall or door in the playroom with black board paint for the kids to go wild

To buy:

Use ‘kellyn10’ for discount

The 30 pack on pens we have is £28.95 and the board £19.95

Chalkola web {aff link}

Life of a Mum

Fathers Day Gift ideas.

12th June 2020 motherhoodafterivf

Stuck for ideas?

want inspiration?

I thought I’d write a little list of ideas for all budgets!

Under £10

Loving the fragrances fromEssential Scent recently- great luxury scent with a lockdown friendly price tag- check out Essential scent insta for more info. I’ve bought 6 different fragrances recently and been so impressed with every one- Sue van advise you on what fragrance best suits If you let her know your mans favourite big branded ones!

Under £30

I’m a sucker for a personalised or photo gift- and Photo box have a great Father’s Day sale on; we’ve ordered Daddy a cute photo block.

If you are local (Leicestershire) I can recommend two wonderful bakers that do awesome treat boxes for Dads especially for Father’s Day- Enchanted Pantry (above) and Baked- by Emily Davis (below) – both are absolutely amazing and I could recommend one over the other- they are both super popular though- so get in quick.

A T-shirt from Topsy blossom they are great quality and perfect lockdown attire- also they are just £15 inc postage!

Under £50

Me and the other half both love Warner’s Gin and they’ve bought back their personalised bottles just in time for Father’s Day. Obviously we’ve ordered Daddy one- you can choose from one of their awesome flavoured Gins, or this Harrington dry is the choice of Dots daddy.

Gin isn’t just for the girls- get to try it (and order yourself the rhubarb whilst you’re there- you won’t regret it).

Foodie dad? Again one for locals (Kettering area) Market Graze Inn do awesome graze boxes- with so many different options- brunch, graze (as shown), afternoon tea or chocolate! Perfect for a socially distanced Father’s Day picnic or delivered to your dads door!

Over £50

Another recommendation from the hubby- Ardent leather belts are proper keepers- will last a lifetime, and would make an awesome Father’s Day gift. They are handmade in Scotland too.

I’m ready to splurge!

Amazing watches from DuFrane Watches my husband has 3 watches from these guys and they are amazing quality for the price- I love them so much I’ve pretty much ‘permanent borrowed’ one- so maybe you can do the same too.

I hope I’ve given you some great ideas- let me know in comments what you think, and if you purchased anything what Dad thought.

Guest blogs, Guest Blogs

The Lockdown Diaries – Acknowledging Anxiety in Isolation (guest blog)

21st May 202021st February 2023 motherhoodafterivf

Words and images by @chameleoninhighheels

When the government (quite rightly) extended the lockdown a couple of weeks ago, I wondered whether this was the perfect ending to a day I’d rather forget. To be brutally honest, it was a shite day. On the surface it was lovely: sunshine, a walk, a socially distant conversation with a friend we met in the park, time in the garden, meals together, family time. Bliss. Only it wasn’t. In my head, it was hell. Doubts about myself and others, returning to normal life, staying locked up, it was all a big, scary, chaotic and scrambled mess.

The familiar lump in my chest and stomach resurfaces, it spreads its claws uncomfortably around my organs and renders me unable to think straight or to see sense. I try to work out if this is related to lockdown, or if there are other demons at work. I think it is both. The fears and doubts have been there a long time, but now are magnified by a world that projects fear and cannot be a safe place for us right now. I try and rationalise my thoughts and talk myself through what I can and can’t influence. I listen to the conversations in my head and weigh them up. I counsel myself and know that the shrink in me is right and wants to kick me off the imagined couch, but I am not ready to leave, not prepared to say: Yeah, I am fine now, thanks for the session.

My thoughts are as stubborn as the monster inside my body. Normally I would schedule a meet up with one of my closest and most trusted friends. Such things have to be talked about in person. But I can’t do that. I would probably also start doing lots of things to distract myself. But today I can’t do that either.

All the dinner is cooked, there is no more food to cook because the fridge is empty, I had my daily exercise and colouring pictures with my daughter gives me more time to think than I can handle. I tentatively tell one of my friends via text and it helps, she is understanding and downright fabulous. She doesn’t try to fix things for me. She is just there. I can breathe more easily. And then I just do something I read the other day by Glennon Doyle: Sit with it. Sit through it. Experience it. And let it pass over.

It’s a bit of a challenge to sit in peace when you have two kids crawling and climbing over you and a puppy chewing on your clothes. But I sit, and I allow myself to feel crap and I endure those feelings of inadequacy, loneliness and anxiousness. And I survive. I still don’t feel great and am far from being a bundle of positivity, but those inner restraints have loosened a little. I am aware that lots of people will be feeling up and down during this time, and many are feeling like this all the time. I also know that everyone’s experience is unique and personal and definitely valid. My feelings may seem ridiculous to some but they are real for me and I have the right to those experiences.

That doesn’t make me weak, stupid or unloved. I am strong – I will get through this day and others; I am knowledgeable – I am aware of my mind and I know that not all feelings are real but they can seem so; and, most importantly, I am loved – not by everyone and that is ok, but I am no less worthy than the next person.

This has been a deeply personal account of what is going on inside me, and I know that I have made myself more vulnerable with this than ever before. I am never dishonest in my blog posts, but there are many things I do not share as freely as others. Whilst I am always scared of repercussions, I am not afraid anymore of revealing a bit more. We are locked up, but we are not silenced. And I have been silent for too long.

We all have good and bad days, and from now on I will be more willing to openly share the good and the bad, without holding back, in the hope it will speak to other so they know they are not alone.

Read more from Chameleon in high heels here- CIHH instagram

Baby/Toddler stuff, Playtime

Our favourite books

15th May 202019th May 2020 motherhoodafterivf

We love books! We always have, from bedtime stories to using them in play activities or discovery baskets. From when Dot was little we attended ‘Story Imaginory’ classes run by the wonderful Freya. These classes are themed around a letter and a book- with the class leader reading the story and guiding you through related songs/dances (with signing) and some amazing play activities- all linked to the original story.

Story imaginory

Since lockdown Story imaginory have gone virtual- with stories being read- and play activities given on a sheet to recreate at home- it’s amazing and Freya (and the other class leaders are awesome story readers).

Attending the Story Imaginory classes have inspired me with how we read and use books at home. As well as just reading stories to Dot, I try to get her more involved by encouraging her to point things out in the book, linking play activities to the book or finding books that are more interactive.

Here are some of our favourites.

The Jolly Postman– this is one I remember from my childhood- and we bought her the Festive one for Christmas. She loved it so we recently added this to our collection.

It’s wonderful as it’s really interactive; with envelopes with postcards, letters and puzzles for little ones to open and explore. It’s written in a way that it’s super easy to read and you can be really expressive too.

Play activities we’ve tried linked to this book.

Used it to guide writing postcards to friends and family on lockdown.
Made a quick postbox (out of a shoe box) and posted letters which we then delivered to her teddies and friends.

Who’s hiding on the farm. We bought this from one of our not so recent trips to a National Trust property; I find they always stock awesome books. This isn’t a story book; but a great interactive ‘lift the flap’ book, which toddlers tend to love.

We love creating ‘farm’ themed play trays with dry foods/sand/moon sand and our farm animal toys.

Why do we need a potty? Together with the book ‘what is poo?’ We are using this to help our potty training mission. It’s not going well, to be fair; but Dot does have full understanding of the toileting process, and loves to play with her babies on her potty.

Me and Daddy think these are the most bizarre books ever; but she seems to love them.

Read with Fred- local Usborne book lady

Questions and answers about plastic. Another great Usborne book; and if you follow me on insta, you’ll know I’m on an eco mission. Another lift the flap book so entertaining enough for a toddler; but I think Dot will really enjoy this book as she gets older too.

To use this book in play I encourage Dot to sort (clean) rubbish into groups- recyclable and not or plastic/paper/cardboard etc.

Zog – well we love all Julia Donaldson books; and they mostly make up our favourite bedtime books. Zog is our most recent Donaldson purchase; it’s a bit more difficult to read than others (in my opinion) but I think it’s a great story which shows Princesses aren’t just there to be pretty.

We recently read this book and made our own crafty crowns.

Rabbits Nap- another Julia Donaldson book, but definitely lesser well known. It’s a cute short, lift the flap book (so ideal for younger toddlers). We find this one links very nicely with the ‘hop little bunny’ song and dance.

First facts BUGS- a great factual book to get little ones interested in bugs. I didn’t want Dot to be scared or bugs and beasties- so bought this book and some play resources recently to help her understand their importance. She’s now loving butterflies, bees and spiders- and saying hello to them instead of running away.

For a range of awesome play resources check out The future image and use ‘ivfninja’ for discount.

I hope you’ve liked my recommendations of books and simple play ideas follow me on insta for more My insta and drop me a comment with what you think.

Life of a Mum

My advice for coping with ‘lockdown’

11th May 202010th December 2020 motherhoodafterivf

As you’ll already know I’m ‘shielding’ at home for at least 12 weeks due to the COVID pandemic. This is because of my immunodeficiency due to treatment for rheumatoid arthritis.

Government shielding info

It’s challenging being at home with a toddler and limited outside access- so here’s my advice to cope with this. Sending love to all.

Try and maintain a routine. Getting up showered and dressed each morning really helps. Don’t stay up late watching movies as you’ll just sleep through the next morning. I like to get up by 8- have a coffee- shower and dress and get on with some work or housework.
Eat well – we try to eat healthy balanced meals as a family. Dorothea loves our ‘feasts’ and often comments it feels like holiday. Good is the main topic of communication with us; we are enjoying baking, online shopping for home cooked meals, and we are even making our own sour dough bread.
Plan and list some days I struggled to be productive; so I try and give myself a few daily and weekly goals. What work needs to be done (I’m doing some of my usual role from home), what needs cleaning, writing some blogs, creating some content and sorting play activities for Dorothea.
Self care I’m trying to spend sometime looking after myself; the first few weeks of shielding I was a mess, rarely put make up on or did my hair. So now trying to do weekly face masks- apply some makeup and wash and style my hair (fringe needs a trim though). I’m loving my young living essential oils more than ever- and diffuse them when working and relaxing. I’m loving Albany Aesthetics facial treatments in a bag. Albany Aesthetics insta
Support others checking on friends, sending cards or small gifts gives me a boost (and a nice walk to the post box). It’s good to let others know you’re thinking of them; and as always tough times really show you who your friends are. I’d also include shopping local in this- as supporting your small local businesses is really important at this time; I’m finding so many wonderful doorstep delivery options too. Viva vino wines delivered (Leicestershire) Enchanted Pantry- cakes/bakes delivered (Leicestershire)
Zoom!!! I’m loving so many zoom options- they seem to be my only outside communication. From online workshops and fitness classes, to online chats with friends and family- and even work meetings! Seeing and hearing people really helps to maintain a little bit of ‘normal’. Apples and apps online fitness
Keep active so obvious- but staying in means you’re naturally much more of a couch potato! I’m really making an effort to get out for a little walk (not strictly allowed when shielding- so we ensure zero contact with others) I’m also starting to enjoy some online fitness classes and plan to do more in the coming weeks. Online Barre classes
Find beauty sounds a bit wishy washy- but I’m loving finding beauty in everything-doing some gardening, having fresh flowers every week and taking pretty pictures.
A tipple I wouldn’t be me without mentioning my love of a gin or red wine. Obviously in moderation- I limit myself to 3 drinks and try to have 2 booze free days a week. I’m loving making pretty cocktails, or a fresh a fruity jug of sangria, my fave gins are from Warner’s – use ‘ivfninja15’ for discount (valid in May) Shop at Warner’s
Having fun thank goodness for Dorothea- having a toddler in the house means plenty of opportunities for silliness and fun. We love planning and playing with play trays, water beads, play doh and doing science experiments. We love the future image shop for play resources- use ‘ivfninja’ for discount- Future image shop

Drop me comments on how you’re coping and any tips.

Guest Blogs, highlighton other fab ladies, Other fabulous ladies

The Lockdown Diary – Fear of Going Out

9th May 20209th May 2020 motherhoodafterivf

Words by @chameleoninhighheels

In one of my blog posts I talked about life after lockdown and how I am enjoying the absence of FOMO (fear of missing out).

Feedback from readers was confirming that I was not the only one feeling relief that I did not have to keep up with the Jones’s anymore or feel bouts of inadequacy because my social life sucks and I can’t be bothered to hit the nightlife because a) I am so tired ALL THE TIME and want to be in bed well before midnight; b) I can’t drink anymore since having kids, and a sniff of half a glass of wine sends me to sleep (cheap date) and c) I feel highly anxious and apprehensive in large crowds and gatherings, which is not a reason to be explored in today’s post, but nevertheless a valid reason.

I am OK with being at home, obeying the rules and working hard to make the best out of this abysmal situation, some days better than others. I exercise daily, I make sure we live in the garden if it’s nice and I put so much veg in our dinners that I am sure we may be sprouting some bell peppers and broccoli out of our ears any time soon.

Leaving the house may no longer be a spontaneous event, but it is a right I have not passed on once since lockdown started. I do raise an eyebrow when I see people making up their own rules as they go along, loosely interpreting social distancing with “it’s in the open air, it won’t hurt” whilst standing far too close. But I am not terrified, I am not scared, I don’t feel anxious about leaving the house.

I am a teacher and before lockdown I was surrounded by hundreds of students every day – in minuscule classrooms, where even the students at one stage pointed out that the 2-metre rule was a joke when they sat no further than 15cm apart from one another (no kidding). I saw a minimum of a third of students in all my classes go off sick or self-isolate and I watched one of my colleagues frantically disinfecting our staff room after another colleague coughed when making her coffee (said colleague was ill the next day).

Despite this, I came out seemingly unscathed. No symptoms, although I am fully aware that I could have been a carrier. But – the Corona Virus didn’t make me ill whilst working in a relatively risky environment although I feel a lot calmer since the school shut down. Don’t misquote or misunderstand me please: I don’t feel invincible or superhuman. I know the dangers and have made sure I did not go anywhere apart from a walk or run for the first two weeks in lockdown, making sure I wouldn’t pass on anything I had picked up at school. What I am saying is that I am not scared to leave the house. I am fine with it. And, until I spoke to two of my peers, I thought most people would be “just fine” with leaving the house, too.

As it turns out, not everyone is. FOGO, or fear of going out is real and it is all-encompassing and exhausting.

One of my readers opened my eyes to something I had not experienced. She revealed that going out made her fear awkward social situations when the path wasn’t wide enough to stay the prescribed 2 metres apart or feeling that she was in someone’s way. She also noticed that, although lots of people are being friendly and greeting each other, there is a more serious side to interacting with strangers – a stare rather than a smile or a stern look whilst passing. “I guess it’s people’s fear coming out.”, she opines. I recall my own experience from a few days ago when I went shopping and some customers walked past me no further than 50cm away because they couldn’t wait a few seconds behind me. I remember briefly feeling panicked because I thought: ‘That’s breaking the rules!’ (I am German. I love rules). Then, slightly bemused yet also slightly bewildered I muttered under my breath how great it was that Covid-19 only attacks from front and back – don’t worry about breathing on me from the left or right, its inbuild virus navigation system won’t know how to attack me from the side – I considered briefly to start wearing a scarf round my face, to protect myself from such idiocy (if anything, I don’t have to witness it…).

My friend, however, can’t find any bemusement in such careless behaviour. Trips to the supermarket these days are a systematic cleaning operation thereafter, with everything, from shopping bags being disinfected, to clothes washed, to her partner being ordered to shower, to any possible surface being scrubbed within an inch of its life. To many of us the virus is invisible and therefore we may even forget about it. To my friend, it is everywhere, lingering in the air she breathes, in the should-be-safe-comfort of her home, on her food, the floor in her home, on herself.

For another reader FOGO takes on a different perspective, that of coping with past traumas of infections during pregnancy and having to go through the hell of watching her newborn getting infected. I get choked up when she tells me her story and gives me an insight into what life with an all-surrounding fear of infection feels like during Covid-19.

Whilst she is not always terrified of going out and sometimes wants nothing more than to leave the house, her fears are more complex than that: “The silly part is that if you ask me whether or not I’m worried that the girls will catch Corona Virus or if it’ll make them really poorly then I’d say I’m not worried really, because it isn’t tending to harm children, but it’s having the idea rammed down our throat that we constantly need to clean everything. I know that’s perfectly reasonable and for a good reason at the minute, but it’s terrifying when your mind already works that way.

Plus there’s all this talk of statistics and which surfaces germs can live on and how long for etc., etc., which plays right into my anxieties.” To cope with this, my reader relies on keeping herself busy, and, BC (before Covid), was glad to go out as much as possible. Now she can’t. “In short”, she tells me, “the Corona Virus has done two things: Validated my crippling fear of germs, contamination and the need to clean everything and it also made me feel that I am very much trapped inside four walls with my own horrific thoughts. So there is [the fear of not having] the option [to go] out for any length of time to distract myself and [also] FOGO because of all the ‘what ifs’”.

Opening conversations with two fellow women has underlined what I already anticipated: Life in lockdown may, on the surface, be the same for us all. The same rules apply to all of us and none of us will be going anywhere anytime soon. However, this exceptional new way of life is also highlighting that we are all so different. This experience forms and shapes all of us individually – none of us can have the same experience. Our past is unique, our fears, or mental health all vary and so what feels good for one is the worst possibility for another.

Therefore, so I believe, the most important lesson we can learn from this is to be kind to ourselves. Whichever way we get through this day by day is up to you, not prescribed by your mate who posts 500 activities on social media (that is no criticism, but comparison is also highly dangerous at this stage). Kindness and understanding of others’ fears and ways to cope is also a must. Don’t try and fix. Just listen and accept. No one is crazy. We are different. All our feelings matter. The aim is to get through this in one piece. Mentally, physically and spiritually. Whatever gets you through, whatever you have to do: Do it. And don’t forget to breathe.

@chameleoninhighheels Insta

Life of a Mum

Lockdown and me- from front liner, to isolated.

3rd May 20204th May 2020 motherhoodafterivf

For those of you that don’t know I’m a nurse; I have been for 17 years now, I’ve worked through all sorts; swine flu, major incidents, fires, shootings and stabbings. I thought COVID was going to be a little bumpy challenge in my working life.

At the beginning of the COVID outbreak I was working as normal; my role is to respond to sick or deteriorating patients- so pretty much high risk front line healthcare. I was seeing the sickest of the sick, those requiring respiratory support; whilst being intensely aware of the C word hanging in the air. I’d calmly, treat, swab, isolate and inform my patients when we thought COVID was a potential differential diagnosis.

March 22nd was my last clinical day; busy with training for COVID and busy with patients, lots that could potentially be C-19. I returned home; stressed, overwhelmed and a little worried. Getting mostly unchanged on the doorstep, shoes In a bag, clothes straight in the wash- shouting hello to a sleepy Dorothea and Daddy as I jumped in the shower before allowing myself contact with them.

On March 23rd I headed to Sainsbury’s for the weekly shop, queued up at 7am with all the NHS staff (some wearing masks and gloves), elderly shoppers getting irate at staff for not being able to join the NHS queue – I realised life was suddenly very different. It felt strange. I returned home to a letter.

A letter I hadn’t really given that much thought to. I knew as I had Rheumatoid Arthritis, and was only multiple treatments that suppressed my immune system, I was, In theory in the ‘at risk’ group for COVID- and I’d asked my boss for a risk assessment due to this. What I didn’t quite expect was to be one of those in the ‘vulnerable’ group; and that I’d have to stay at home for 12 weeks minimum! I called my boss and explained and she said she’d put me back in the rota from June 16th- it seemed such a long time.

Coming to terms with going from being a key worker, a helper, a hero – to being sat at home was vert challenging. Wracked with guilt that I have the skills to assist, that I should be helping the fight and supporting my colleagues- I felt useless sitting at home. My husband was relieved, he’d been worried about me, not wanting me to go into work- worried that I was going to become one of those patients I talk about taking to ITU.

You’d think being at home with my family constantly would be a dream; and in some ways it is; I’m loving time to cook, meals as a family and time to create fun activities for Dot. But the isolation is unreal; the last time I went anywhere was Sainsburys of March 23rd- since then just a few walks (which in accordance with my letter I shouldn’t be doing- more on that later), no contact with others apart from zoom and facetime- the monotony is unreal.

Its hard not to be lazy: somedays I can’t be bothered to get showered and out of my pjs. But then the next day I feel guilty for that so I have a day of constantly being busy, and not knowing where to stop! Getting the balance right in lockdown is so hard.

Luckily about a week into lockdown my workplace found me some tasks to do ‘working from home’ and I had a laptop delivered. This has been really good at helping me develop a diary routine, have some purpose and actually feel like I’m helping out. As it mostly involves interviewing, its also been great at giving me some social interaction, which is great. Its been great to join in with our teams weekly meeting via zoom too, and seeing the lovely familiar faces.

So, the letter. Its surprisingly how restricted and isolated they actually expect people to be- and its so easy to see how this can have massive impact on our physical and especially mental health. Vulnerable people like myself have been advised to stay at home for 12 weeks minimum; this includes not going out for walks/exercise- not even in your own garden. Also not to share a bathroom or bed with family and not to eat meals together. Obviously as a young family with a small house this is near on impossible- I honestly think I would have lost the plot if we couldn’t eat and watch movies together!

As myself and Daddy are having to both work from home we are actually spending time at opposite sides of the house for most of the day. I’m sitting in our upstairs lounge- which also contains Dorothea’s playroom, and Daddy is sitting in the downstairs dining/lounge, so we have a whole floor between us for most of the day. A much needed break and some degree of peace (for Daddy) which means when we meet for food, or a drink in the garden its really nice.

The social isolation is for me unreal, my husband often takes the mickey out of me for my constant need to be surrounded by people- but i’m just a sociable person. In my daily working life I communicate with 10’s of people each day, and on my days off I like to meet friends for coffee and cake, or take Dorothea to a farm park or children’s group. I going to have to find some coping strategies to help me get through the next 7 weeks.

I mostly feel thankful- thankful that I’m safe, having time with my family that I’ll never get again; like having 3 months of maternity leave , but with a toddler (less tea and cake and naps- more crafts and giggling). I’ve told my team that when I can safely return I’ll take the baton from them and they can have a break, I’ve also busy sourcing donations for our teams to enable their rest periods to be comfortable (refreshments and reading materials)

Awesome print made for my team from Zoe loves letters

I’m going to try and write a couple more blogs about my time in isolation- let me know what you think.

Hand me the Gin

Farm Grown Gin

3rd March 20203rd March 2020 motherhoodafterivf

We were kindly invited by Warner’s Gin to spend the day on their farm celebrating inspirational women. Warner’s is based in Harrington in Northants; so a quick county hop for me and my wonderful plus one Raj. AD/gifted experience day from Warner’s Distillery

The day started sedately with a drive through the Leicestershire/Northamptonshire countryside and we were welcomed to the farm with coffee and breakfast pastries. We joined a wonderful bunch of inspirational ladies (it was blogger galore) and the wonderful Warner’s team.

We had a lush box of goodies; including joules scarves and hats and funky rainbow wellies from ever creatures. So we all donned our new gifts and we’re ready for the farm….

The Warner’s team are AMAZING; so knowledgable and full of passion for producing an epic product in epic surrounding. I love the fact that Tom says ‘fuck’ a lot, and this only strengthened his passion when talking about producing an epic gin- with no unnecessary (and nasty) colourings or flavourings. Warner’s were the first to create a rhubarb gin, and its colour and flavour come from beautiful, natural, British grown royal rhubarb!

Warner’s are truly on an Eco journey of trying to reduce their carbon footprint. Growing as much of their needed botanicals on the farm as they can, and importing as little as possible. They showed us their three stunning botanical gardens (they took part in Chelsea flower show) one down the Harrington valley giving us a chance for a brisk blowy walk!

We saw Angelica, juniper, lemon thyme, heathers, lavender, elderflower and more. A queen bee even landed for a surprise feature in our day; and Johnny (Warner’s botanical and bee keeper smarty pants) told us all about the importance of these creatures; and their shocking facts about bee copulation!!!

After that bracing walk we needed Gin- hoorah; so tasted some lemon balm gin in the glorious March sunshine. We then headed off to get our green fingered nails grubby; by ‘pricking out’ some Angelica seedlings, and potting some borage seeds to take home to grow. And then it was time for lunch!

And what a lunch it was; three courses of ‘Warner’s gin themed’ awesomeness in the epic local Gastronpub the Tollemarche arms. Tollemache Arms

Lemon balm infused salmon, a potato, Brie and mushroom Pithivier and yummy slow gin gravy; and the most awesome thing ever; rhubarb gin and Harrington honey trifle. I never knew a trifle could be so epic; and although we all had filling tummies we seemed to polish it off.

Obviously this was accompanied by some of Warner’s tasty gins; for me a rhubarb fizz to start and then a raspberry and soda. During the lengthy delicious lunch we were lead by the lovely Tina; to discuss our inspirational women.

The afternoon the full array of Warner’s gins; from the classic ‘Harrington dry Gin’ (yup sod off London, Harrington does it better), to the Joules collab Apple and Pear and the strawberry and rose (which I’d never heard of).

We then wax dipped and labelled our very own bottle; this day was truly epic, with so much attention to detail- making it such a special day for a wonderful group of ladies.

The day ended with imaginative Warner’s gin cocktails at their bar; my idea of heaven, and an epically stocked fridge. And then off we went into the Northamptonshire sunset.

I thought I’d finish with a few of my favourite Warner’s facts

There are 300 elderflower in each bottle of elderflower Gin
The distillers name is on each bottle
Toms mum Adele creates the idea of their Elderflower gin after picking some on the garden and adding to Gordon’s!
Warner’s does 350 distillations a year
91% gin can actually taste amazing
Warner’s will be bringing out a spiced rum- using British grown botanicals!
Warner’s ask locals to pick Sloes to make their gin, and return the favour by giving gin.
Tom says ‘fuck’ A Lot

Obviously the idea of this day was to celebrate inspirational women; and March holds both inspirational women’s day and Mother’s Day- so this month I’m going to be posting about inspirational ladies, and hosting guest blogs from some wonderful ladies too.

Share your stories of the #inspowomen in your life on insta using this tag and @warnersgin too

Family time, Playtime

West Lodge Farm Park

18th February 2020 motherhoodafterivf

Today we had a wonderful day at West Lodge farm park, near Desborough Northants. It was breezy and post storm; but that didn’t put us off, in fact it had made some wonderful muddy puddles.

As it’s lambing season the main focus of our visit was to see some new borns and feed the babies with bottles. Dorothea loved this. We didn’t managed to see any lambs actually be born, but we certainly got to view some very fresh ones. They do the bottle feeding of lambs x4 a day during this season, with plenty of opportunity for your little ones to have this wonderful experience.

Although it was pretty cool and blustery Dorothea enjoyed some fresh air playtime; her and her friends loved the abundance of tractors, exploring the castle on the hill, playing on the roundabout and swings and even in the sand pit!!!! (Unsurprisingly hands in cold sand meant they wanted to return inside.)

Each and every day there’s plenty of activities for the kids; these obviously change with the season. Today’s were:

Lambing talks
Bottle feeding the lambs
Small animal petting
Piglet racing
Pony grooming
Pony rides
Barrel rides
Den building

Most of my photos of Dorothea are blurry or of her laughing! This says a lot about the farm park; she really loved it and was absolutely exhausted following 4 hours there!

The old grain adventure barn is pretty epic, with a multitude of slides, (for difference levels of thrill seeker), plenty of climbing opportunities and many places to hide and jump out at your friends! There’s a separate play area for the little ones; which Dorothea loved; with a smaller ‘hen house’, slide, toadstool seating and a mesmerising sensory ‘fish pond’.

And the best thing of all??? At the side of this play area there’s a cafe with does great coffee and cakes.

There’s also a more formal ‘Rickyard restaurant’ and ‘the udder place’ ice cream/snack/hot drink bar. On a nice sunny day there’s plenty of spots and benches for a family picnic.

There’s a lovely little shop at West lodge with some great quality toys and great wellies. Our favourites were the Lanka Kade farm animals/ characters and the hobby horses (now in Dorotheas possession).

Costs:

Varies per season but around £7-9 per person.

Under twos are free

They also have a reduced price late entrance fee (ideal for post school energy burn off)

Annual membership is also available from £42 per person (family of 4 £150)

Parking is free and plentiful

There’s plenty more of the farm to explore than we did in a few hours; and we can’t wait to go again. What we didn’t know until recently is that they allow dogs

So we can’t wait to go back with Woody and explore their many nature trails and walks. The only places you can’t take dogs are the indoor place area and the fenced off outside play park.

We did go in half term, on our arrival at 9.30 the park was quiet but by the time we left at 13.00 it was packed, and the indoor play barn had no tables left- so I certainly can’t wait to go back in term time.

West Lodge website

West lodge Instagram

Family time, Playtime

Play Village- Warwick

16th February 202016th February 2020 motherhoodafterivf

For the both Dorothea’s second and third birthdays we have taken her to the Warwick play village. we think for her it offers the perfect day out; she loves pretend play, and this place offers every version of pretend play you could want!

From memory these are the different areas:

School
Post office
Theatre
Beauty/hair salon
Vets
Hospital
Fire station
Cafe
Supermarket
Ice cream van
Picnic area/bbq
Building site

The play village has two available sessions- morning or afternoon; each gives 2.5 hours play. It’s £10 per child and that gives entrance for two adults also. Parking is free and plentiful.

Within the play village there’s an awesome cafe; so you can have coffee and cake with a view of the play area. They do a full range of breakfasts, lunches, cakes, hot and cold drinks. The coffee is pretty good too.

Whilst kids are left to play as they wish, the team at the Play Village also organises activities; singing, dancing, stories and treasure hunts. On both occasions we’ve been for Dorothea’s birthday, they’ve sang to her and given her a card; a sweet touch!

Any negatives??? Well one; this place is soooo hard to find, the sat navved postcode will lead you to a services on a nearby dual carriageway. Instead type in Hampton rd and wing it. The play village is down a little Lane; you will think you’ve gone the wrong way, but it’s worth it when you get there promise. ( allow a little extra time for getting lost! The staff informed me they should be getting a brown road sign soon.)

The different a year makes- the shop aged 2

To make a full day trip the nearly towns of Warwick and Leamington are both beautiful; with varied shopping streets and places to eat/drink. In Leamington we recommend https://www.cote.co.uk/restaurant/leamington-spa/ and in Warwick http://www.theoldcoffeetavern.co.uk

https://www.childrensplayvillage.co.uk

Dots outfit from https://jujuni.co.uk

Playtime

Pretend play!

6th February 2020 motherhoodafterivf

Dorothea loves to pretend to be just like Mummy. Her favourite things are to look after her baby and clean!

She’s just been #gifted this Melissa and Doug cleaning caddy from Hello Baby and adores it.

Dot loves to ‘just pretend’ spraying the coffee table and polishing it up. The cup comes with lots of different bottles and cleAning implements- which enables your toddler to be just like mummy.

Think she’ll be wanting to use this one in the garden in the summer and then we can fill the bottles with water and bubbles.

Follow the link below to buy.

https://www.hellobabydirect.com/melissa-doug-cleaning-caddy-set

IVF, Life of a Mum

January-its all pregnancy and birth announcements! Happy New Year infertiles

11th January 202011th January 2020 motherhoodafterivf

So I am a Mum, and that’s wonderful; I’m so thankful to IVF and that I now have a family I thought I’d never have. But that doesn’t mean my ovaries don’t pang and I don’t get insanely jealous when I see these announcement’s. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so bitter that I don’t feel joy and happiness for these other ladies, but I’m just green with envy.

I would love to be realistically trying to conceive, I day dream about feeling those lovely bump kicks, and it’s my dream to be giving another birth announcement. BUT having IVF standing in the way of us and our ‘frozen in time’ future children is so bloody frustrating; feeling mentally/emotionally stable enough to take the step through it all again is enough of a challenge, but then realising we don’t have the £3k necessary to sign on the dotted line, well it seems to make it an impossible stepping stone.

‘There’s never a good time to try’ and ‘ no one can afford a baby, you just have to go for it’ – is all well and good, when the going for it is the simple pleasure of having sex! The reality for us infertiles is stumping up thousands of pounds for just a chance, and sometimes not even a great chance: it’s a numbers game- will the meds work, will my lining be the right thickness, will the embryos defrost okay etc. etc…… and sometimes taking that step is mentally a massive step.

It must be awful for those trying to conceive naturally month after month never seeing the pink (or blue) lines, and I genuinely mean that- but even taking one chance for us means ‘life on hold’ tests, journeys, stress, emotions, hormones, poking and prodding, scans and tests, breath holding phone calls and the dreaded waits!!!

My biggest fear (isn’t forever being skint and in debt) but how I’d cope with a fail. Yes we have 5 wonderful little embryos raring to go, and I often wonder if they’ll be as cute and full of sass as their big sister, but I’m not sure I could cope with a fail; it was the worst feeling- and I don’t wanna do that again.

So many women amazingly go through round after round of IVF, fail after fail, and they’re remarkable, because I know I could never do it. I know that (after lengthy discussions with my husband) I’d never go through with another fresh cycle, that I wouldn’t emotionally and physically put myself through it again.

I sincerely hope that, at some point soon; we’ll be ready to take that step- hopefully later this year (and certainly before I hit the big 4-0) I’m sure a money tree will magically grow in our garden, that Dorothea with suddenly start sleeping amazingly, and that we will develop the mental strength and drive needed for IVF. And lets face it, time is ticking; and my stiff joints regularly remind me of my approaching ‘old age’.

So new mums and newly preggos; please don’t hate me for getting annoyed with your happy announcement’s- I’m just bloody jealous, and that sucks!

Family time, Life of a Mum

Farndon Fields

29th October 201929th October 2019 motherhoodafterivf

I love Farndon Fields- I cant believe up until recently I’d never been! A beautiful farm shop and restaurant just outside Harborough; the perfect addition onto a day in the town.

Highlights

The most instagrammable green grocers I’ve ever seen!
The funniest fish monger- who made D giggle by making a fish talk
The Gin section (basically my Christmas list right there)
Afternoon tea (I rolled out)
Affordable plants
A beautiful Christmas zone

Recently we tried out their afternoon tea; and it was amazing. I think me and my mum could spend hours here; browsing the amazing food and gin, picking out special Christmas decorations and partaking in another afternoon tea!

This past week we tried out Farndon Fields Pumpkin patch; I believe it’s the first year they’re done this, and it was AMAZING!!!

We embraced the mud ( it’s rained so much recently) donned our wellies and trudged up to the patch- WOW I’ve never seen so many pumpkins. We pics a barrow full and headed down to wash them (and 1/2 the field off our boots)

I love the effort they put into the Pumpkin Barn- a proper little cafe; yet still keeping it looking like a barn on a proper farm. We tried some delicious pumpkin cake, and grabbed a handful of recipes to try with our squashes (waste not want not).

I think it’s fully booked this year- but for next yeah I really recommend it- put a reminder in your phone now to book up at the end of September.

Farndon Fields Web

Baby/Toddler stuff, Playtime

Autumn Invitation to play

21st October 2019 motherhoodafterivf

Tuff trays are great for the summer outside, but when we’re stuck inside I love making smaller play trays.

If I left Dorothea to it, she’d probably only play with her Duplo and her babies; but setting up a tray like this encourages her to play with different thinks in more creative ways.

Today’s play tray was made up of

A pumpkin ‘lid’
Conkers
Green play doh
A faux grass sample (companies will send for free)
Oats</