IVF, Life of a Mum

January-its all pregnancy and birth announcements! Happy New Year infertiles

So I am a Mum, and that’s wonderful; I’m so thankful to IVF and that I now have a family I thought I’d never have. But that doesn’t mean my ovaries don’t pang and I don’t get insanely jealous when I see these announcement’s. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not so bitter that I don’t feel joy and happiness for these other ladies, but I’m just green with envy.

 

I would love to be realistically trying to conceive,  I day dream about feeling those lovely bump kicks, and it’s my dream to be giving another birth announcement. BUT having IVF standing in the way of us and our ‘frozen in time’ future children is so bloody frustrating; feeling mentally/emotionally stable enough to take the step through it all again is enough of a challenge, but then realising we don’t have the £3k necessary to sign on the dotted line, well it seems to make it an impossible stepping stone.

 

‘There’s never a good time to try’ and ‘ no one can afford a baby, you just have to go for it’ – is all well and good, when the going for it is the simple pleasure of having sex! The reality for us infertiles is stumping up thousands of pounds for just a chance, and sometimes not even a great chance: it’s a numbers game- will the meds work, will my lining be the right thickness, will the embryos defrost okay etc. etc…… and sometimes taking that step is mentally a massive step.

 

It must be awful for those trying to conceive naturally month after month never seeing the pink (or blue) lines, and I genuinely mean that- but even taking one chance for us means ‘life on hold’ tests, journeys, stress, emotions, hormones, poking and prodding, scans and tests, breath holding phone calls and the dreaded waits!!!

 

My biggest fear (isn’t forever being skint and in debt) but how I’d cope with a fail. Yes we have 5 wonderful little embryos raring to go, and I often wonder if they’ll be as cute and full of sass as their big sister, but I’m not sure I could cope with a fail; it was the worst feeling- and I don’t wanna do that again.

 

So many women amazingly go through round after round of IVF, fail after fail, and they’re remarkable, because I know I could never do it. I know that (after lengthy discussions with my husband) I’d never go through with another fresh cycle, that I wouldn’t emotionally and physically put myself through it again.

 

I sincerely hope that, at some point soon; we’ll be ready to take that step- hopefully later this year (and certainly before I hit the big 4-0) I’m sure a money tree will magically grow in our garden, that Dorothea with suddenly start sleeping amazingly, and that we will develop the mental strength and drive needed for IVF. And lets face it, time is ticking; and my stiff joints regularly remind me of my approaching ‘old age’.

 

So new mums and newly preggos; please don’t hate me for getting annoyed with your happy announcement’s- I’m just bloody jealous, and that sucks!

 

Family time, Life of a Mum

Farndon Fields

I love Farndon Fields- I cant believe up until recently I’d never been! A beautiful farm shop and restaurant just outside Harborough; the perfect addition onto a day in the town.

Highlights

  • The most instagrammable green grocers I’ve ever seen!
  • The funniest fish monger- who made D giggle by making a fish talk
  • The Gin section (basically my Christmas list right there)
  • Afternoon tea (I rolled out)
  • Affordable plants
  • A beautiful Christmas zone

Recently we tried out their afternoon tea; and it was amazing. I think me and my mum could spend hours here; browsing the amazing food and gin, picking out special Christmas decorations and partaking in another afternoon tea!

This past week we tried out Farndon Fields Pumpkin patch; I believe it’s the first year they’re done this, and it was AMAZING!!!

We embraced the mud ( it’s rained so much recently) donned our wellies and trudged up to the patch- WOW I’ve never seen so many pumpkins. We pics a barrow full and headed down to wash them (and 1/2 the field off our boots)

I love the effort they put into the Pumpkin Barn- a proper little cafe; yet still keeping it looking like a barn on a proper farm. We tried some delicious pumpkin cake, and grabbed a handful of recipes to try with our squashes (waste not want not).

I think it’s fully booked this year- but for next yeah I really recommend it- put a reminder in your phone now to book up at the end of September.

Farndon Fields Web