Guest Blogs, Life of a Mum, Other fabulous ladies

Cross Your Legs When You Sneeze? There is a Solution (guest blog)

Hello, my name is Julie, and I am the founder and campaigner behind the Multi Award Nominated and Commendation Awarded Secret Whispers Brand. I am mummy to two gorgeous sons and wife to a very patient husband. 

Approaching the big 40 and after 2 pregnancies I was starting to think more seriously about my pelvic floor muscles. I knew that with falling oestrogen levels, my pelvic floor strengthcould start to become an issue. I was not going to let that happen. Kegel exercises are not a new concept to me. I have been doing my exercises for years. But it did shock me just how few products were on the market for women to help them improve their pelvic floors and how there is such a big taboo about the subject. Many of the mums I spoke with told me that they wore pads, no longer took part in sports and that leakage was normal after childbirth. I decided there and then that I had to do something. Most women saw Kegel exercise’s as a ‘rescue’ option when things go wrong, rather than a preventative measure. 

I was astounded that most women had no idea they could do something about this before it became an issue. 

I then decided to design my own Kegel Weight Kit. It is a 6 Step progressive weight programme to safely and gradually strengthen your pelvic floor. They are made with medically graded 100% body safe silicone. It’s like a weighted tampon for your pelvic floor.

Too many women around the world are suffering in silence, crossing their legs when they laugh or sneeze. It’s time to give women back control. I am now on a mission to stop women having to prematurely resort to pads to stop leakage – let’s takedown Tena Lady!

Now ladies, all you need to do is just be committed and take ACTION! Just get started!!

Weight Lifting (…for your vagina)

Let’s talk about something embarrassing shall we? Does a little wee escape when you laugh, sneeze, cough, jump, or run? Is this now your new ‘normal’? 

Did You Know That 50% of women suffer with pelvic floor issues?

Unfortunately this figure could be much higher because women are too embarrassed to even speak to their doctor about it, let alone family or friends. Due to the associated taboo many women are suffering in silence.  The physical, psychological and social wellbeing impact for women and their families who suffer with weak pelvic floor conditions is heart-breaking and could be avoided. This is an issue that spans generations. This has to change.

Did You Know That It Is NOT Normal To Leak After Childbirth?

I was horrified to learn that women are led to believe it is ‘normal’ to cross their legs when they laugh or sneeze. That urine incontinence after childbirth is almost expected, thanks to the large advertising budgets of companies selling these pads. Secret Whispers exists to present a very different reality and give a very different message.

What Are Kegel Exercises?

Kegel exercises consist of repeatedly contracting and relaxing the muscles that form part of the pelvic floor. They are essential because your pelvic floor is a muscle like any other and it needs to be exercised. Think of your pelvic floor as your Lady Hammock. It has a very important job to do. It consists of muscles and ligaments holding up your bowel, uterus and bladder. The muscles that surround these organs can no longer fully support these organs when weakened, resulting in the lack of control you have over passing urine, wind or faeces. In severe cases, called a prolapse, there is a dropping down of the internal organs into the vagina. Don’t use it and you may well lose it! So prevention is better than cure ladies!

“I have tried doing pelvic floor exercises and they didn’t work” 

Most women do not know where their pelvic floor muscles are and how to engage them correctly. When you use Secret Whispers ™ Kegel weights your pelvic muscles are contracted, which in turn lifts the internal organs and the muscles also tighten the openings of your vagina, anus and urethra. Thus, improving your pelvic muscle tone and reducing the need for future corrective surgery! They correctly engage the correct pelvic floor muscles to contract, taking away the guess work.

When Can I Fit Kegel Exercises Into My Already Busy Life?
There really are so many ways for your Kegels to fit easily into your lifestyle that there are NO excuses. Incorporate your Kegel exercises with an activity you do most days. 

 Showering, gym work out, exercise class, walking, school run, yoga, housework, swimming, walking the dog, 

 or even cleaning the oven (honestly:-).

 You just need to be active for them to be effective


“I’ve given birth and the damage is already done”

Doing Kegel exercises before childbirth helps in the recovery of the pelvic floor and reduces the likelihood of bladder incontinence after birth. However, if you start suffering from a loss of bladder control after childbirth, you can still improve the strength of your pelvic floor by doing Kegel exercises. If in doubt please always speak to a pelvic floor physiotherapist.

Will Kegel exercises improve my sex life? 

If you have noticed that it is more difficult to reach orgasm or that your other half has noticed it is more difficult to climax; your pelvic floor may have weakened. An orgasm happens when the muscles in your vagina, anus, and uterus involuntarily contract and then relax. This is the amazing feeling of “release.” Orgasms are bigger and stronger with a strong pelvic floor.

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Life of a Mum, Other fabulous ladies

Sex after babies…. (guest blog)

There. I said it. It’s a tricky thing, so why does nobody talk about it? And, most importantly, what can we do to make it better?

Most of us struggle in one way or another with sex after we have kids, so why is it seemingly taboo to talk about?

So. Here you are. You’ve had a baby or two. You love your partner, and you’ve made a great life together. In the throes of parenthood, you’re tired, you’re busy, you’re caring for littles, and the last thing on your mind is sex. It’s easy to get lost in the day to day of life.

A relationship changes after a baby. All of a sudden we are all consumed with someone else’s needs. They do come first, we bathe them, feed them, dress them, cuddle them, wipe them…..after a day like that, we are literally all touched out.

Throw hormones into the mix, and a lot of women simply don’t mind if they have sex or not. Some feel they could go forever without it again. I felt this way too. After I stopped breastfeeding my second little, my hormones crashed, and i could never see myself being intimate again. It wasn’t “normal” but maybe it is?

In order to build a healthy relationship, physical intimacy has to be part of it. It is most important to keep the connection with your other half. It gives you your identity back, and not that of a mom.

Yes, you are a mom, but you are also You!

So what can we do?

How can we be intimate in this period of babies and childhood, in this season of life?

Here’s some ideas to help.

1. Schedule Sex– I know I know, this is soooo unromantic right? A couple of years ago I created the term “sexy Saturday” I didn’t tell my husband at first, as I didn’t want him thinking that I had to schedule it. But I did. I had to psyche myself up for it. That’s ok! 90% of sex for women is psychological. I soon told him what I was doing, and he laughed, but he is fully supportive (obviously!) Scheduling sex is better than no sex at all. (I’m talking to you, who hasn’t had sex in months)

2. Believe in yourself- wait what? So you have a few extra pounds since having kids, or maybe you have a c-section scar, perhaps you hate the way you look. I will say, your partner is not looking at the bad bits. I don’t know of any man who would turn down sex. Period. You project your problems with your body on him, but that’s just it, they’re your problems. You have history together, you’ve created life together, and he loves you. Turn the lights off if you have to, but don’t not do it because of the way you feel.

3. Set the mood for Sexy Saturday. There are a lot of essential oils that can help with everything from making you excited, to helping him last longer, to helping you achieve your goals (wink wink) Why not put some in your diffuser as a hint to him that you’re willing and ready.

Here’s just a few:

Sensation massage oil- which contains Ylang ylang, a

known aphrodisiac, was made specifically for intimacy. Why not use it for a massage to set the mood.

Cypress oil – This woodsy oil is for blood circulation. You can use it to spice up your evening!

Ylang Ylang – Increases libido in women, and men tend to respond to the sent on their women.

Sclaressence – A hormone supporting oil for women- healthy oestrogen levels can help with getting you in the mood.

Valor – This oil blend helps with confidence and courage! Who doesn’t need a little extra help in that department?

So, get your courage and your sex life back, if you need help with the oils, I’m your lady! Happy Valentines Day!

Valerie Fowler is a wife, a mom of two boys, and Young Living Essential Oils distributor. She helps people detox their homes, and create a better life using essential oils. For more info, or to buy oils:

FB: essentialoilsladyuk